Monday, August 11, 2008

asshat, special infidelity edition: john edwards


You heard me. John Edwards is an asshat.

What kind of asshat runs for President knowing his adulterous shit is probably going to be made public, very very soon? And what would this asshat have done if, by a miracle, he had nabbed the nomination?

What kind of asshat gets his ass caught by the National Enquirer?
(OJ Simpson, you say? Touche.)

What kind of asshat still has an affair with a campaign aide?
(At least try for something different - a lonely, blind schoolteacher from Fresno who fears she'll never know the heat of passion, or something.)

For that matter, what kind of asshat still has affairs?

(Dear political dudes, have you learned nothing from Bill, Eliot or the scads of other political dudes who've been caught ball walking? For the love of the citizenry, develop a chemical addiction or something. We will readily forgive a big ol' pipe smoking meth head over a guy who cheats on his cancer-stricken wife!)

Then again, we get the asshats we deserve. After all, what country still insists their public officials live like virgins?

So there you go. John Edwards, asshat.

4 comments:

Orange said...

If Edwards had won the primaries, I would be crying right about now.

ding said...

i know. we dodged a bullet on that one.

(please, obama, don't be an asshat!)

Songbird said...

Such poor judgment. And, honestly: lying when confronted with the truth? That is the height of not smart.

ding said...

Like a child. I remember being in elementary school and my dad confronting me with the actual evidence of my lie and I still tried to stick it out. Stressful and stupid because it made my punishment bigger.

These scandals re: infidelity are really the best argument for having women in public office. Sexual picadillos don't tend to be our thing.