Salon.com Life | I want you to want me - NP
The letters in response to this essay are interesting.
Most of them accuse her of being a drama queen, contrary, 'white', whiny and to 'get over it.' Well, sorta.
Maybe the Beyonces or the Halle Berrys among us don't want to admit to being needy and so Dickerson’s need for affirmation from white people is too … ugly.
Maybe there’s a generational difference; in a lot of ways I have the same reaction to Terry Macmillan and her books. That particular slice of older black woman waiting to exhale was too dependent on male approval for my taste.
On the other hand…
As a reasonably cute brown girl who doesn’t fly off the handle for just any reason (cough) I think she has a point. But her position is a tricky one – using the Wedding Crashers to argue for cultural acceptance as sex object while black women are also objecting to being just a booty in hip hop videos is a highwire act I’m glad I don’t have to sustain.
I think her larger point is that black femininity is either one of two types – the Halle Berry/Beyonce/Dorothy Dandridge type (ultra feminine object) or the workaday capable black woman who’s so capable we’re hardly women (Missy Elliot before she lost weight.) Her point is that, for whatever reason, black women don’t count as representable cultural objects.
Is she wrong? I mean, other than Oprah, where are black women visible in our culture (other than entertainment) and how are we visible?
6 comments:
I agree that using the Wedding Crashers might not have been the best example. As a reasonable cute brown woman also, I identified with a lot of what she wrote. People always talk about how independent I am, so nobody ever helps me. As an example, I bought charcoal at Costco the other day. It comes in two connected by heavy duty plastic 24lb bags. Three guys were having a conversation in front of the charcoal, I said excuse me, they moved out of the way and continued their conversation while watching me slide the charcoal to the bottom of my cart. In the parking lot once again two guys watched me tip it into my Honda. At my apartment, my neighbors watched me lug it up the stairs. This type of thing has been an everyday occurrence in my life and up until this article I thought I was the only one. I'm 5'1 so I just don't understand it.
it's because we're superwomen. which is great! but, dang, we're not inhuman.
we appreciate manners as much as the next person.
you know, it's totally wrong for me to say this, but she doesn't 'register' black for me.
but if her robotic temperament is the model for black femininity, no wonder we can't get a shout out.
On Condoleeza Rice- she is not robotic as you may think. Put yourself in her position. a black female in a white man's world all day. Should she be giggly? Which I'm sure she is at times.However,she is the exception, and she is BLACK. Read her Bio- it will inform you on how black she really is. Different views on issues, but nevertheless very black
Maybe I dismissed Debra Dickenson's comment about the lack of love in movies today. We are either cast as seductive "mulatto" babydolls, i.e., Halle Berry in "Monster's Ball" or as ghetto queens as in "Bringing Down the House." Rarely we get to reflect the range and depth of black womenhood without the archtypical stereotypes we've been under for centuries.
I'm late to post read this article and the related letters and blogs, but I wanted to add one thing here so I hope someone is still reading. I'm a reasonably cute young white woman and white men never help me with heavy things, luggage in airplanes, or opening doors either. In fact, when a man does offer his assistance in this way he is almost never white.
Speaking from my own experience growing up (and not knowing what it's like to be anyone else), I know that I always resented men who tried to help me with things because I was so into being an independent feminist and doing things on my own. I think the young men I grew up with were used to this kind of attitude in the young women and reacted accordingly. Perhaps this is part of the reason for the reactions you mentioned.
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