So the birthday is next month.
It’s giving me a little trouble. Not the usual ‘I’m so old’ crap. I look forward to getting older – my body is changing (again), my outlook is changing and I’m only dreading menopause because of the discomfort (ding hates discomfort). The women I’ve gotten to know through the Social Do-Gooder Job are older, yet look and act younger because of the immense fire they have in their bellies; they are given youth through what they do.
So it’s not the fact of my age that’s throwing me for a loop.
It’s the aesthetics, or the imagery, of this number. I mean, when I was approaching 35, there was a roundness to it that appealed to me. It was dead center; 35 was such a good, steady number. It signified balance to me. 36, however, is off-center; 12 goes into it 3 times. (right?) It’s weird. It’s not a milestone age, like 30 or 35. It’s after the milestone. It’s sort of the chapter after Happily Ever After.
It’s the Then What? page.
So now what? These are the less than ambitious plans now that I'm officially approaching middle age:
Learn how to sew properly (which means I’d need my mom’s old Singer …)
Take a tango lesson (or maybe the foxtrot; I’ve always liked the foxtrot)
Take a vocal class (it’s been ages since I've belted anything out)
Have a girly golf outing (I know but it’s really about the drinks afterward, isn’t it?)
New pillows for my bed.
3 comments:
Omg, I had exactly the same reaction to 36. Only I think it was tied up to aging for me, as in "now I am closer to 40 than I am to 30, wow, me 40??" But part of it was the milestone effect, like 35 was a "real" age and suddenly 36 and beyond are "late 30s." It is a weird birthday, because everything up 'til then is marked as important: 18, 21, "the 20s," 25 is a nice round #, 30 is a big deal, "the 30s," 35, and then suddenly 36. What's that? Still "The 30s" but not what people *mean* when they say "the 30s," which is really "the early 30s." Now it's just like, not quite "middle aged" but "approaching middle age," or whatever, and it's just freakin' weird.
Oh, however, I must add that 37 somehow feels better. Maybe b/c it's a prime number or something.
i get that. i can totally relate to how 37 feels different. it's empowering, that 37. it's like anne bancroft in the graduate. she's 37.
or alfre woodard. that kind of 37-not girlish, not elderly - just woman.
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