Monday, April 13, 2009

what's smaller than an Easter basket? chicago.

How small is Chicago? Too small.

The K- easter dinner had just concluded and we were sitting in her mother's parlor digesting, enjoying a few after dinner cigs (not me!) and sipping wine. One of the other dinner guests, a tall gentleman with dreds, joined us. His girlfriend had just mentioned that she was attending X College.

I exchanged semi-alarmed glances with my friends. LTF taught at X College.

Roomie got that look in her eye. It was a look that said, 'Whatever is about to happen is going to make Ding freak out.'

G- smiled and said, 'And you? Do you go to X College?'
I quickly interject, 'Uh, no. Remember he said he goes to XY University?'
He corrected, 'But I transferred from X College.'

Roomie said, 'Oh, so maybe you know Professor LTF?'
He nodded. 'Oh, yeah! LTF. I took one of his classes. He's a cool guy.'

And he looked at all of us, waiting for one of us to tell him why we're asking about one of his past instructors.

AK, after taking a slow drag on her cigarette, said, 'He's a friend of a friend.'
I was silent.

Please, Newly Risen Lord, let this conversation end now.

He chuckled. 'You know, he's an interesting guy. He sent an invitation out after he got tenure - ' (Quickly, I calculated that LTF and I were not seeing each other at that time.) ' - and I went to his party and there was kind of a weird vibe.' He chuckled again.

Roomie slid me a glance. I kept drinking my wine.
'Really?' she said. 'What kind of vibe was it?'

Dear Risen Jesus! You are not listening to me! Please give this very nice dude a stroke.

He continued. 'Well, there were no women there. Well, there was one. She's in some other department. Built like a brick shithouse - a very voluptuous brick shithouse on high high boots - she was all over him, actually - but the party just had this weird guy vibe and I was wondering why I was there and what was going to happen. It was sort of ... adventurous.'

Good lord. I knew that vibe. I'd successfully extricated myself from that vibe several times. When LTF gets in a Burroughs-Bukowski mood, sometimes you gotta take your chances and get the hell out. And that woman? I recognized that outfit. I've *worn* that outfit.

He went on. 'But LTF is a good guy. If he doesn't like you, he won't bother with you but he's a good guy. He's given me some excellent advice about grad school. But there is something...One night I was in a gay bar with some friends because a band was going to be there. The band flaked but we stayed, having some beers and then LTF walked in!'

Really, Risen Lord. One stroke. Muteness. Plague of boils. Anything.

'We leave but he stays. A week later, I run into him on the bus and he says really loud, Hey, I saw you the other night in the gay bar! And I'm like, Dude!' He chuckled. 'He's just a little socially awkward, I think.'

My friends took in all of this in silence. The Gentleman in Dreds looked at them looking at me.

'Ahem,' I said. 'I, ah, know LTF socially. Uh, yes. Socially in a social way.'

Roomie snorts and G- smiles behind her glass of wine.
Thankfully, dessert was announced and the topic changed to the Muffin Lady (who is apparently out from her earlier charge of possession with intent to distribute.)

On the way home LTF texted me, asking if I was coming over later. It was late so I texted No.

Ding: But weird coincidence - I met an old student of yours tonight.
LTF: who?
Ding: His name was T-. He had his girlfriend with him. Weird, huh?

No response yet from LTF.

Yes, indeedy. This town is way too small.


No Nonsense said...

oh jeezuz! Oh jeezuz! oh jeezuz! Let this sink in a bit! oh jeezuz

Ok first how about that fortune teller woman's prediction huh?

Are you making this up or what? no april's fool was last week

So is LTF bi? Will he still be LTF? I mean what does this Revelation all means?

ding said...

unfortunately, this is all too real.

i don't *think* he's bi. i think LTF, like Algren, enjoys the seamier, decadent, unconventional side of the street and likes putting himself in environments that, uh, heighten the senses, so to speak.

then again, what do i know?

Trope said...

Remember: the desperate bargaining thing worked for Gaius Baltar, but only because he was already delusional. Unless you were seeing a skinny bleached chick in a red dress, praying like that will help you by a factor of exactly zero.

LTF is sounding way more interesting than he ever has before. :) Not that he was ever dull, mind you, just not really fleshed out.

So neither LTF or T- are readers here... right?

liza said...

Towels *were* the right gift after all.

Frankly, being bi is the far more conventional possibility here, no?

Songbird said...

That's a nightmare, alright. Any answer yet?

No Nonsense said...

If your theory is correct then his freaky factor is high, acceptable to some, who are we to judge. Now what you should question is why you wanted the guy to shut up. Subconsciously, you knew something may be a little off with LTF. Then why would you want to know Hmm?

ding said...

no answer, yet. maybe tonight when i see him.

one of my complaints about LTF has always stemmed from his lack of social aptitude. but then i realized he is *never* going to be smooth.

OTOH, neither does he seem to have hangups that would bore or annoy me. next to him, other dudes are sort of bland. but, yes. he flies his freak flag a little higher than others.

but while i have no issue with knowing his boundaries are a lot more fluid than mine, i have to admit that i'm a control freak. hearing surprises about someone i sleep with in front of my friends is going to jar me.

but in the interest of sexual health, yeah. knowing if his sexual adventures have included dudes is right up there with 'when were you last tested?'

ding said...

and, no.
if LTF ever becomes a reader, he and i are pretty much done. kaput. over.

ding said...

...and LTF has his own blog, too.
because of an argument after i read a post of his which then prompted one of our many breaks, i've made the conscious decision not to read it. i figured, total immersion in one another's blog personas is not necessary for the continuation of this liaison.

SiddityintheCity said...

zoinks. sometimes I think it would be nice if our flings just, you know, ceased to exist when we're not engaged in relations. In fact, the limited flinging I've had has convinced me it is best to at least pretend they don't exist outside our liaisons.

No Nonsense said...

good! I swear, you write the best stories ever!

ding said...

oh, there's more. check out the update above.