Saturday, January 19, 2008

i'm heartbroken. really, i am.

i just have to share this, a message i got when i told a guy on BP that we didn't have enough in common to date - which was an understatement:
i think your stuck up and the way you come off makes you lest than a woman, i was not trying to hook up with you , i was trying to take you out on a
decent date, how you miscontrue the two with your itellingence level makes
me wonder, and as for you being mean to me you might want to stay in your
place as a lady and a preacher daughter, no matter how much education you
have it doesn't put me on a lesser level than you, if had of known you was
like this i would have never aprach you, be sure that i want bother you
again, and i reiterate please don't call yourself getting mean with me.

sigh. i'm sure that there's a perfect woman out there for him.


Tedra said...


ding said...

i'm drowning my disappointment at this very moment.

jp 吉平 said...

"Lest than a woman?" How exactly does stuck-up-ness de-womanize? Sounds like a problem. What did you do to this poor kid, ding, beat him with the spelling stick?

You're always a woman to me!

greg said...

OMFG. On the other hand, aren't you glad that you had this conversation via email, and not over dinner? See, on-line dating's not so bad.

Anonymous said...

She is stuck up or wants to appear like she is better than most. SHE WANTS TO BE IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP, THOUGH!!! Woman, maybe you should re-think how your coming across. Education is a good thing. To use your education to make you seem uhm... high up there is another. Who are you? Really!
Preachers daughter? Poor guy must detach himself from thinking that those who are raise by preachers are holy. Preachers are not always holy!

Go ahead make that sandwhich, you want a relationship not a academic match. Good luck to you!!!! I am not being fair with you, don't make the sandwhich.Just stop hiding!

You don't know me but I read this blog occasionally. You're cute and funny and sometimes snobbish? Smart? yet to be determine, never met you. Don't bother telling me to sue you because I won't sue you, because I will win, I know HOW to win. Then what will you do if you have no money to claim as success in your life since you rely so heavily on status to define you? Heh!

When you decide to come to your senses I will send my email address to you. No, I am not a snob like you.

A man who knows how to make a great sandwhich!

Orange said...

JP, I see your Billy Joel and raise you a Bee Gees' More Than a Woman.

Mr. Charming Anonymous, here's the thing: A woman who wants to be in a relationship just might still have standards and want a man who can be a suitable partner.

And really, how many "decent dates" does anyone want to go on without thoughts of hooking up? The hooking up is a nice goal for the dating.

SiddityintheCity said...

What in the deep fried hell?

Wow. What a tool.

He's interested in you, therefor you owe him your attention. What? You aren't interested in him for some reason? Well, you, missy, need to be put in your place and realize you are less than a woman!

Gag. Gaaaaag.

This is why I just ignore messages from people I have no interest in. To hell with being nice and responding with a polite "I'm not interested."

It gets better?

Shaz said...

hi dig:

that comment by anon is a classic display of a "neg." To attract a woman several levels above their reach, they have to try to take them down a few notches with jabs at their self esteem ("nice hair/nails, is it real?") Here, anon tries to use your education against you in an attempt to unsettle you and your esteem when it comes to dating, etc. It's tactic employed by men that are incapable interacting with women as human beings.

But you're smart, so I'm sure you knew all that. :) Anyway, dude that emailed you is an illiterate asshat. I really hope someone comes along to take him off the market so the rest of us don't have to both with the foolishness. As for anon, yay. He can make a sandwich. : I

shaz said...

dig = ding :-D

ding said...

@anonymous: uh, no thanks. consider my senses permanently absent.

@jp: all i did was tell the dude that i didn't want to call him because i didn't think we had enough to talk about. i had asked him what he was looking for and when he went on and on about a good mother for his kids (!!), someone to take care of him, someone to keep his house, i was just: 'Uh, we are looking for very different things.'

but then he kept pressing. and pressing. (he even said "i will let you be whoever you are." let me??) so finally i had to tell him: this is what i want - someone who can fit in MY life and you're not it.

no big loss.

(and i didn't say anything about his spelling or grammar until after he sent me that message! i was so patient!)

@shaz: you are so right. i've been called stuck up before and it's never by anyone i would actually go out with. oh, i'm 'smoking hot' when i'm silent, but suddenly i'm stuck up and need to stay in my place when i say i don't want you. yeah, ok.

@Sid: you're right; i have to stop being polite. so now i've just started being very up front with what i'm looking for, and for the most part, the guys are cool with it. they don't like their time being wasted, either. this was the only one who freaked.

and it does get better! i'm chatting with a guy who i would actually have dinner with - if only he lived in chicago. sigh. oh, well.

@Orange: indeed, the hooking up is important, if not the whole purpose of dating. it would be nice to hook up with someone on a long term basis that i could respect and bring around my friends and family without them thinking 'WTF is up with him??'

bitchphd said...

Anonymous is right, Ding! If you want to be in a Serious Relationship, you need to accept any man who comes along and deigns to consider you!

If not you are a stone bitch.

Also, how dare you have an education? Don't you know that makes the ovaries shrivel?

ding said...

so that explains it.
my edumacation kilt my woman parts.


Anonymous said...

No, it is your edumacation that you use to make you seem rather snooty? I bet all your friends who commented earlier are either in serious relationsips or they're married.

My point after you added the little comment about the man and his kids, that you left out so nicely. I'll bet that you would take "B" that person who you been clinging on to for dear life, back in a heart beat, wouldn't you? Why were you putting up with his crap so long, but you wouldn't put up with a dude who couldn't write correctly and had a couple of kids? Woman, I don't want you cook for me, I could do that for the both us. This isn't about sex or sexism. You ARE on my level, in fact, I would raise you over me, if that would make you feel good.

My email address is.....let me know..

SiddityintheCity said...

Anon, thinking you have the right to tell a woman you probably don't know how to live her life, what her priorities should be, and who to date (you) because you want her to and think you know better? That's about both sex (your desire, regardless of her lack thereof)and sexism.


Aside: I'd take a poorly-functioning relationship with B- over a doomed relationship with a functional illiterate with the burden of children and an ex ANY DAY.

Fortunately, those are not the only options.

jesus chick said...

oh my lord. has dating really come to this? ack. you wouldn't think it'd have to be so complicated.

ding said...

@sid: thank goodness the only options aren't B- and illiterates with baggage, indeed.

(though me and my friends have a standing bet that, in 4-6 months, i will receive a message from B- wanting to hook back up. we wait with bated breath.)

but despite those options, sid, i really should be grateful for any old man who shows up and wants me. cuz, you know - i'm desperate.

ding said...

@jesus chick: well, perhaps dating is easier for men like Anon, who thinks all it takes to attract a woman of quality is to point at her.
for the rest of us with standards, it's a little bit more challenging than that.

p.s: glad to see you back! hope the new baby is well!