Thursday, February 17, 2011

asshat of the day: the GOP

House Republican Spending Cuts Devastating To Women, Families and the Economy | National Women's Law Center

Take a close look at some key words from critical reductions proposed by the GOP-led House:

contraception
healthcare
family planning
nutrition for pregnant women/children
prenatal care
Headstart
childcare
education
college
job training
social security/elderly women
meals
housing
cancer
food

What do women with families care about?
We care about taking care of our kids; putting food on the table; getting all of us a good education; making sure all of us are healthy and have some slim chance for middle class stability.

The cuts the GOP have proposed gut all of that.
Their proposals are basically a knife to the heart of a woman's middle class dream. In their proposals we can predict an America full of communities and families without access to employment, healthcare or education, badly fed, untrained, at the mercy of biology and accident - a permanently under-educated and under-resourced underclass.

Thanks, GOP, for turning America into a Dickensian nightmare.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

for the WIN!

My sister's long ordeal is almost over. Her judgment went her way and it seems she will enjoy full joint custody of her children. Yes, despite MABIL's efforts to reshape the world to fit his 18th century Mexico worldview, it seems the rest of the world has moved on.

But she still needs to rebuild her relationship with her kids (to undo all that has been done - and said, and reassert her maternal authority), and she is now officially a single mom. Things will be tougher; everything will be a negotiation with her ex and there's always the risk that he just won't face reality, turning this into 'Not Without My Daughter, Mexico edition.'  But for now, she is free!

Her strength has been phenomenal and even when tiny wavers shook her spine, she stood through a lot -- threats to her livelihood, her reputation, her family and my long distance, outraged haranguing -- and came through.  Yay, sis!

More importantly, now I don't have to wage a stealth campaign against MABIL.

(maybe when it's not this late, I'll write about what my sister's divorce case has shown me about the inherent sexism of the Nice Guy Who Thinks He's Nice But He's Only Nice As Long as You Do Everything He Says.)
Funny how real life intrudes on what used to be soo important a few years ago. When I first started this blog I was filled with so much outrage, this was the only place I could let it out without breaking down. 9/11, and my mom's passing, made me feel impotent. This blog was something I could control - and something I could share. I'm happy that this space has been one where I can be smart (occasionally), funny (unintentionally) and downright bitchy and scabrous (hey! new word!).

More than a few years later (actually, eight), this blog has slowed down a little but that doesn't mean I'm giving it up. It's just that other things have been happening;but despite all the real-life stuff going on, I still have a finger on the pulse on what's happening in the outside world.

So here's all my political blogging smooshed together:

On the plan to defund Planned Parenthood and the GOP effort to balance the federal budget on a woman's uterus - no; if you were really serious about our deficit, you'd do something about defense and Medicaid.

On the Chicago mayoral race and candidates deliberately ignoring what a structural deficit is and playing word games with the electorate - you suck and you're dishonest.

On the revolution in Egypt - congrats, but democracy is harder than it looks.

On the abortion provider being targeted by anti-abortion activists in Wichita - i think it's time we all learned how to provide abortions; they can't put us all in jail. (That's my official Crazy Thought of the Day.)

On Illinois' frakked budget situation and the continued misunderstanding of what gov't is for: gov't is not our  personal retail location where we are entitled to a product; it is an entity that delivers services that prevents us from living in caves like animals - services that need to be paid for. make the tax increase permanent, for god's sake, and stop fooling around.

Carry on.

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

snow day!

This is my neighborhood. Yesterday, I scoffed at how bad the weather was but after LSD shut down and all those folks were trapped, and watching how the wind had blown snow to basically block off my street, I take it all back. Blizzaster 2011 is no joke.

However, just one block away, the street is clear, businesses are open and people are going about their way. So my snowbound world is very small. In fact, it's just this one block. Weird.

So I'm at home, 'working' remotely, and catching up on news of Egypt with Charlie Rose. And getting hungry. Dreading going outside for a taco.

How's the Blizzaster treating you?

Monday, January 31, 2011

If you're going to call about HR3: a script via Sady Doyle

With a crappy piece of legislation like this - where the hate and cruelty are almost too much to bear - it helps to have a script when you're calling. Luckily, Sady Doyle provides one:

Sady Doyle - Script for Calling the Democrats Who Support HR3

I think it's still a little too long (staffers appreciate brevity) so I would cut it a little shorter, after you ask for the staffer who handles healthcare or women's issues:

1. Mention the bill # right away so it's at the top of the message: Hi, I'm calling to leave a comment about HR 3.

2. Tell the staffer what you want the Rep to do (again, so it's at the top of the message): Please oppose HR3.

3. Then boil it down to your top 3 bullets so they can summarize it for the legislator or the main staffer on this issue:

Going beyond Hyde, in an unprecedented way, HR 3 strips current rights from rape survivors, women and girls who need abortions.

HR 3 redefines rape to mean only sexual assault involving 'force' will be covered, contradicting existing statutes that already defines sexual assault. Sexual assault statistics and rape victim advocates show that 70% of rapes aren’t “forcible.”

HR3 also makes it much harder for women to purchase private insurance that may include abortion services, harder for companies to cover women who need abortions, and strengthens “conscience” clauses, which means doctors can refuse to provide critical reproductive medical care to women at any time. It is discriminatory.
4. Then give your contact information and let them know you expect a response: I look forward to hearing from the Congressman on this matter.

5. Thank them and hang up.

Pass it on.

what the heck, carol?

Carol Moseley Braun Says Opponent Was 'On Crack' While She Was Starting A Business (VIDEO):

There are some things one shouldn't do, while running for office:

- be exposed as a girlfriend beating nutjob (hello, Scott Cohen)
- carry on with your filmmaker girlfriend while your wife battles cancer then pass off your love child as your campaign manager's (hello, John Edwards)
- throw your opponent's past drug habit in her face even though she kicked it, moved past it and became a better person despite it (what the hell, Carol?!?)

Carol is off the reservation. I don't know if she thinks she's emulating Daley's charming habit of saying whatever runs through his brain, like the crazy uncle at dinner, but this was just wrong.

And rude.
And tacky.
And graceless.
And .... bitchy.

And also didn't answer the question.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

the first thing they do

The New Abortion Wars - A Highly Intrusive Federal Bill - NYTimes.com

The above link is to a very thorough round up of the scope of HR 3, a remarkably intrusive, burdensome piece of anti-woman and anti-choice legislation from the GOP (and a short but significant list of Dems.)

I find it very interesting that with unemployment still high and economic stability still tenuous, as well as several foreign policy hot spots flaring up here and there, what does the male-led GOP want to spend its time and treasure on?

Preventing women from creating the families we want and controlling our own fertility and family planning - and punishing rape victims, to boot, by redefining rape to the benefit of rapists.

Once again, the single-minded concentration they direct toward preventing women from exercising our autonomy blinds them - and endangers the stability of our country overall.

They need to be stopped.

Peacefully, civilly and non-violently, of course.

Thursday, January 06, 2011

this is what i mean!

Via Capitol Fax.com » Can’t anybody play this game? (on Carol's befuddling mayoral strategery):

"For reasons unknown to mere mortals, Carol Moseley Braun extended the media coverage of her initial refusal to release her tax returns by dribbling out a bit more information yesterday. And she actually plans to keep the story alive by releasing more information sometime today

Carol Moseley Braun on Wednesday released longer versions of her 2008 and 2009 tax returns, expanding on the two-page summaries she put online the day before.

Her disclosure brought her closer to matching two of her mayoral challengers: Rahm Emanuel and Gery Chico, each of whom has released five years’ worth of tax returns. Braun’s campaign indicated she plans to make her 2005, 2006 and 2007 returns available as soon as today.

This is just pure torture. Why would anybody operate this way?"

It's like peeling off a really stuck on band-aid. Do it quick and it's all over; the media will move on to something more positive. Do it sloooowly and the pain lingers.

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

wow.

How to bounce back | Penelope Trunk's Brazen Careerist

In all my years of blogging, even at Bitch Ph.D., there may have been a few moments where my sharing approached a certain line. I've written about getting my period, mom's death, weight (even giving my actual weight!), race, sex, boys, my new relationship, hooking up and God, but I've really tried to maintain some distance between a public and private persona. Mostly, I've created this line because I just don't want to deal with judgmental assholes.

In other words, there are some things I will never write about.

(Last month, I tried to write about something I'm still trying to process and the post still sits in the draft box. It's too much for here, for me.)

Brava to Trunk for sharing and being brave enough to share like this. I think writing, even for a blog, requires a level of self-honesty and bravery. But -- yikes.

I don't think I could endure this kind of comment.

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

oh, carol. you're losing me.

Just because I have brown skin (and breasts) does not mean I'm voting for Carol Moseley Braun for Mayor.

I think I'm even supposed to be one of her target demographic: woman of color, professional, educated, tired of old boy politics, pro choice, progressive, feminist-y, and modern. But I'm not digging Carol's style right now. Her campaign style is definitely not...modern. It's a mish mash of crankiness, recalcitrance, bull-headedness and iron-fisted charm. If her campaign was a CEO, I'd hate to work for her.

Am I supposed to be impressed she convinced Meeks and Davis to drop out? I wonder if their capitulation was due to her directly or the result of inevitability? Rev. Meeks insulted gays, women, Latinos, Asians, and people who knew gays, women, Latinos and Asians. Danny Davis is old (this isn't me being ageist; he's seriously old. Grandfather old. He won't make it!). And he's a demigod in his district. Why would he trade in his demi-deity to paint a target on his back as Mayor of a city with a huge deficit and mounting infrastructure issues? Does the fact she's the last black woman standing mean I'm ready to vote for Carol?

Not really.

To be honest, her reliance on tired Old Black Dude (OBD) traditions makes me, a modern brown woman, even more tired. The OBD circuit is not where I come from. For once, can't we ignore that old dog/pony church circuit show? As the daughter of a pastor, I don't know what's more insulting: politicians polluting a church with their shilling, or pastors allowing them to do it. And watching her play 'gotcha' games (like the flip flop about the tax return) with the media is not helping me. Neither is her futile crusade against the parking meters. (She want to sue because it was a bad deal? They didn't pay enough? I think that milk is spilt.) Her comfort with the OBD circuit ages her - and alienates me.

Is the OBD circuit emblematic of what her administration would be?

Chicago is a city of neighborhoods, but has Braun left hers? Perhaps that's a little unfair of me, but I see a woman in her very well kept Hyde Park home, occasionally venturing out to give a few speeches and raise some money during a luncheon. She's a genteel lady who lunches -and I'm not.

The communicator in me believes in stories - not so much campaign cliches - but narratives of a vision. But what's Carol's story? What's her vision? Will she put Chicago on the path of something new or does she think it's good enough just to maintain the status quo? Where does she see Chicago going and how will she steer it? And why her? What's her value proposition? I've read her site (after weeks of searching for it) and all I can think of is blah blah blah.

On Christmas Eve, M- and I were having lunch somewhere in the art gallery district and overheard some regular guys talking about the Mayoral race. One of them said, 'She's a nice lady. But she just wants a job.'

Ouch.

Folks like me want to know what's inside the package. Black ministers don't do it for me. Neither do the unions. Who are the thinkers, the doers, the innovative creatives who are going to help you get Chicago back on track (if you think the wheels have come off.) When Chicago is threatening to fracture into sectarian groups again, how is she going to engage the whole public to rally around her, as the symbol of this city?

I'm the public, Carol, and you're losing me.
i seriously pulled this day out of my ass and made it gleam like a turd covered in gold.

Monday, January 03, 2011

asshat of the day: MABIL

He didn't show at his and my sister's divorce hearing today. They waited THREE hours for his drag-ass to show up. So now she has to remain married to his janky ass another month and a half! I bet he's trying to find another lawyer to help him recoup from the mediator last month.

Guess who I could kick in the balls right now?

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

What Would Jesus Do? The Opposite of What You're Doing

So Obama called the Philadelphia Eagles owner to talk about two random things: greening the stadium and Michael Vick’s second chance. And, in the words of one blogger, all hell broke loose.

This is what I think about second chances: we all deserve them.

But he killed dogs!
Henry Kissinger was instrumental in the death of thousands of southeast Asians, and yet, he is considered an elder statesman of US diplomacy.

But he killed dogs!
This country voted for Geoge W. Bush (twice) and now he’s earning millions on his book and speaking tour - after starting two wars, crashing our economy and tanking civil rights in this country all in the name of fighting terror.

But he killed dogs!

Yeah, he did. So did this guy.

Because he killed dogs, now Michael Vick is a black man with a prison record. His nifty NFL contract is the only variable separating him from the fate of hundreds of thousands of other black men with prison records.  Perhaps it’s the rarity of second chances for these men that makes Obama’s recognition and commendation of second chances so startling and impolitic for the rest of us.

So who deserves a second chance? Who deserves an opportunity for redemption and repentance?

Unlike Tucker Carlson, whose grasp of the Golden Rule and Christian love/forbearance is rather shaky, my father shows me what it means to give someone a real second chance. As part of his ministry he has mentored black men from all paths: gangbangers, ex-cons, drug dealers, alcoholics, burnouts, and probably one or two men with pasts so violent and abhorrent we would run away from them. While it exasperates me (as it exasperated my mother) to watch him make such an exhausting effort for so little return, I have a feeling that I am missing the point.

The results may be few and far between to most of us but the effort is what matters; my father is doing something no one else in the world seems to want to do: love and help black men.

My sister and I came home from school one day to find some strange man washing dad’s car in the driveway. In the kitchen, mom was watching from a window and we asked her who that man was. She sighed.

‘It’s another of your father’s men,’ she said. ‘He came to bible study and now he won’t leave. He has a metal plate in his head where he was shot by police for drug dealing. What is the point?!’ Another big sigh. My mother could only see wasted effort.

My sister and I, however, were fascinated that a man could have a metal plate in his head.

I’m happy to say my mother was wrong. That man with the metal plate built a construction business, has a wife, three sons he’s fighting to keep alive, a house in the Valley, and is one of my father’s best friends. When my mother died, with his big construction hands, he lovingly wrapped all the little Christmas village houses my mother had collected and took them home because he said they reminded him of Lucy.

And right this very minute, my father is boarding a young man with obvious emotional and mental issues from Indiana. This man had heard my father’s sermons, contacted him and drove to California to escape whatever personal hell had been pursuing him in his hometown. Like a black Boo Radley, he lives in my father’s house and silently endures the squinty-eyed side-glances from me and my sister when we visit.

What does he want? Is he trying to take advantage of my dad? What if he’s crazy?

‘Lock your door, dad,’ I said to my father on the phone one night. ‘If he goes nuts, make it hard for him to kill you.’

‘Little girl, you need to stop. He’s just trying to get back on his feet.’

‘Well, when will he?? He’s been there for months! Why’s it taking him so damn long? Why can’t he find a roommate on Craigslist? Why does it have to be you?’ I know I sounded like my dead mother but I couldn’t help it.

My father sighed.

‘You girls have never understood this. Not even your mother. It has to be me because no one else will do it. You don’t understand. No one loves the black man. We’re beaten and ashamed and neglected and put away. No one loves us. No one. And so if I don’t, who will? Who will show this young man he’s a creature of God? If it’s not me, who will do it? The county? The welfare system? Who, dammit, who?’

(I am actually tearing up remembering this conversation.)

My father loves the black man and cares about what happens to him when it’s not politic to do so. His ministry to black men is not necessarily about finding someone a job or keeping him from the law. His effort, and hopefully Obama’s call, is about showing these men that they have a second opportunity to become, and be seen as, a full human being again.

It’s the point that everyone is missing – even the well-meaning dog lovers, feminists, Maddows, Ezra Kleins and asshats like Tucker Carlson.

So who deserves a chance to be regarded a full human being again? Michael Vick does. And every black man like him.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Monday, December 20, 2010

Moore and Me

I just stepped on my own post, but I just saw this poem here and had to reprint it because it cuts to the very heart of why women are upset with Michael Moore and Keith Olbermann right now:
 
Rape Poem
by Marge Piercy

There is no difference between being raped
And being pushed down a flight of cement steps
Except that the wounds also bleed inside. There is no difference between being raped
And being run over by a truck
Except that afterward men ask if you enjoyed it.
There is no difference between being raped
And being bit on the ankle by a rattlesnake
Except that people ask if your skirt was short
And why you were out anyhow.
There is no difference between being raped
And going head first through a windshield
Except that afterward you are afraid not of cars,
But half the human race.
The rapist is your boyfriend’s brother.
He sits beside you in the movies eating popcorn.
Rape fattens on the fantasies of the “normal” male
Like a maggot in garbage.
Fear of rape is a cold wind blowing
All of the time on a woman’s hunched back.
Never to stroll alone on a sand road through pine woods,
Never to climb a trail across a bald
Without that aluminum in the mouth
When I see a man climbing toward me.
Never to open the door to a knock
Without that razor just grazing the throat.
The fear of the dark side of the hedges,
The back seat of the car, the empty house
Rattling keys like a snake’s warning
The fear of the smiling man
in whose pocket is a knife.
The fear of the serious man
In whose fist is locked with hatred.
All it takes to cast a rapist is seeing your body
As jackhammer, as blowtorch, as machine gun.
All it takes is hating that body
Your own, your self, your muscle that softens to flab.
All it takes is to push what you hate,
What you fear onto the soft alien flesh.
To bucket out invincible as a tank
Armoured with treads without senses
To possess and punish in one act,
To rip up pleasure, to murder those who dare
Live in the leafy flesh open to love. The fear of the smiling man
In whose pocket is a knife.

norridge rhymes with porridge - for a reason.

On Saturday, I stood on the corner of Cumberland and Lawrence, the freezing wind tearing through my leggings, making my thighs numb. Norridge, I thought. Frak you, Norridge!

I had arranged to meet M- at the comic book store he works at on the weekends for their holiday party and, apparently, I had not paid much attention to him the night before when he gave me directions.

Norridge is ugly. It is a placed cursed with squat homes and strip malls. Like LA but colder and uglier. So I wasn't in the best mood to start with. Not knowing where I was going, and unable to tell where I was on my GPS (frak you, GPS!), I walked all four corners of the intersection, even buttonholing old guys at the gas station. I walked up this block, up that block, down that street and back again. No frakking comic book store.

By this time, it was dark, the temperature had fallen to 16 (but the windchill made it feel like 8) and I stumbled to the McDonalds to nurse my frostbitten fingers and numb ass.

I texted M-:

'Dude. Your store apparently has an anti-girl force field covering it because I can't find it. So I'm at the McDonalds until my frostbite goes away. When you're done, you should come see me.'

I listened to the piped in Jesus music for a few minutes, grumbling about how I love this dude but man, the burbs suck, I can't feel my fingers, he better be glad I'm his girlfriend...grumble, grumble.

He called.
'Where are you? Did you just ignore everything I said last night?'
'Hey! No! Well, maybe. I got the intersection right!'
'You are right across the street from us!'

Pause.  I turned around to look out the window.
'I don't see you.'

In a very patient voice he said, 'Go back outside. Walk toward the gas station. Look for the Italian restaurant. Then Edible Arrangements. We are right there.'

'I'm not going back outside! It's 8 degrees!'
'Then you're ok hanging out at the McDonalds for over an hour?!'
 There went my thoughts about rescue.
'SIGH. NO. Fine. I'll finish my coffee and go outside.'

Grumbling all the while, I went back into the freezing Norridge night - and found it where he said I'd find it.  I had walked past this place THREE frakking times!

When I went inside, all the comic book boys cheered and I felt like an idiot but at least the story made them laugh. And I hope it showed how dedicated a girlfriend I fucking am.

Note: M- later revealed that after he hung up, he'd said to the shop owner, 'I'd go and rescue the damsel in distress but she's a feminist!!'

Note to dudes everywhere: Feminism is officially put on hold when it's effing 8 degrees outside.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I swear the holiday season is another war on women's self esteem.
I'm 10 days out from christmas and haven't done ANY of my shopping yet. For anyone. Not sis, dad, boyfriend, best friend or bitchy niece and nephew.

And don't even ask if I've gone to church for any advent services. Guh. I'm a bad person AND a bad church lady.

I need a break from Christmas, please.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

My sister's mediation is tomorrow and I called her tonight to see how she was doing.

I'm so proud of my little sister. She finally called the lawyer my friend found for her and had a good consultation - but realized that she needed to be more proactive with her own case.

(Note to little sisters everywhere: Big sisters know what we're talking about!)

I also find myself giving her advice from my own professional field: if you're not framing the narrative then tell your story strategically to build will and get people engaged on your behalf.

Yeah, it sounds like PR and it is. MABIL has spent the whole year turning his friends and family against her (while hiding his tendency to treat marriage like a gilded cage) so now's the time to start turning that against him.

I thought she'd resist when I said that it's sometimes useful to strategically share some vulnerability to get people on your side but she got my point. MABIL's family and friends are a lost audience. Never message to an audience that you don't have.

But that still leaves teachers, other parents, old neighbors, and casual mutual acquantances to win over.

She said, "I don't like putting my business out there. It has nothing to do with them."

"True. But since your kid has said out loud that she hates you, and bursts into tears every time you come to pick her up, you really don't need her teacher looking at you like you're the bad guy. 

"All you need to say is something like 'Thanks so much for being patient with Sally lately. Her father and I are going through a difficult separation and divorce; the whole thing has been tough on her --on all of us. Thanks for being so understanding.'"

I said. "Just say it in that squinty parent voice people have and the teacher will be on your side -- or at least less likely to look at you like you're Mommy Dearest."

Ah, strategic communications. Good even for divorce.

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

cheap shots: chicaco mayoral race

So Rahm Emanual balked at the idea of sending his kids to Chicago Public Schools -- and, predictably, his opponents pounced and the media, magpies that they are, went after the bright shiny thing of the moment.

Have you seen the stats on Chicago Public Schools? (This is an explanation of their methodology, of sorts.)
How many of these schools are on probation?

There is the rare school that is excellent, I grant you, but would you want to send your kids to the average Chicago public school, in the current state the system is in? I wouldn't -- and I'm from a public school system. (Whoo! Go, LAUSD!)

Asking a candidate if they'd send their kids to CPS, when everyone knows most of the schools in CPS are problematic as hell, is a cheap and unworthy shot. It does nothing except box in the candidate and remove any chance of actually addressing what is deeply wrong with public education in this city. Whatever answer he gives will either alienate him from the unions or piss off those who think CPS is in the crapper and hate pandering. It also limits the discourse of the opponent so that they're dumbing down to react to a stupid question instead of showing off how smart they are (or aren't); and, ultimately, the public loses out on an opportunity to actually talk about a real problem and real solutions because the media can't handle anything heavier than stupid 'gotcha' questions.

So, good job, media. Way to support democracy.

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

it's only tuesday

Yesterday, we sang in the office. I hate singing in the office.

Then my boss asked me to go with her to a meeting with a GOP legislative leader - with my 'fro all poofed out and crazy looking, in leggings, boots and a big wooly peacoat, I looked like a crazy homeless woman sneaking into the Thompson Center.

And I discover certain black legislators are giving my org shade because they see philanthropy as keepers of the status quo and our policy agenda a threat to their communities. Shit. Guess how hard it's going to be to message through that??

And, to top it all off, it's freaking two degrees in Chicago and my face is cracking off.

Freaking love December. /sarcasm