Monday, April 14, 2008

un pájaro en la mano vale dos en el arbusto?

a dating question:

what's the etiquette if you've gone on two dates with someone, and a third is in the offing, but you still wanna date around? do you make that a point of conversation to fully outline and manage expectations? or do you assume that he's dating around, too?

i mean, i liked the two dates (as did he) but we're not committed to anything, right?

this stuff is hard and my not knowing the answers is giving me some anxiety.

4 comments:

Orange said...

I think until there's a conversation about limiting your affections to one another, there should be no assumption of exclusivity. Especially in the age of match.com, when a person may have various sub-liaisons in various stages of contact. If you haven't deactivated your online dating accounts, then exclusivity is a stretch.

But don't take my word for it. I haven't dated since 1988.

bitchphd said...

Two dates is not a "relationship." You don't have a "relationship" until either (1) you've stopped counting dates; (2) you've had a "talk."

No Nonsense said...

Bitch is spot on. I met my husband while I was seeing two other dudes. I totally think a woman should have more than one suitor until a verbal acknowledge of a committed relationship. Dating a few for some reason keeps your mind & heart from becoming attached too quickly and believe it or not keep you from getting into the sack quickly as well(which we all know disable our ability to identify red flags), . I wouldn’t mention anything about exclusivity, don’t count dates, don’t count weeks, don’t count months you’ll only drive yourself nuts with doubts and unwarranted expectations. Enjoy his company and others while you are it!

ding said...

thanks; i thought so, too, and was beginning to second-guess myself. this is the first time that dating feels somewhat 'normal' and i want to enjoy it, you know?