Sunday, April 20, 2008


One of my favorite romantic comedies is Bet Me, by Jennifer Crusie. In it, a slightly pudgy, cranky, 30-something woman goes out with a guy she thinks is out of her league and, well, you know what happens. True blave. Through the course of the story, she gets together with her friends and they go through a ritual called the If Dinner: they sit around and talk about what their lives would be like if they got everything they wanted.
The other day I'm having lunch with a couple of coworkers and we find ourselves in the middle of an If Lunch: if we got everything we wanted, where would we be in 15 years?
First, I was startled to realize that I'd be 53 (yikes) in 15 years.

Then I said something lame about having a stable career, living in a cute place, being surrounded by friends, blah blah blah.
T-, one of my lunch friends, looked at me over her glasses and said, 'That's kind of boring. What do you really want?'
Without hesitation I blurted out, 'I want to have at least two surprisingly non-crappy romance novels published, maybe a serious collection of essays or a family memoir written; I want to have 2 long term lovers, live in a fabulous urban house in the middle of the city, be a non profit consultant on strategic communications or maybe run for Alderman. Holy crap. Wouldn't that be funny - me, in public office? And, of course, be surrounded by a wonderful group of friends and family.'
C-, our other lunch companion said that she didn't know about the feasibility of running for office while having two long term lovers, but it was my fantasy; I could dream of anything. She's right. I can.
So. If there were no obstacles, what would you want your life to look like in 15 years?


bitchphd said...

Excellent question. Hmm.

I want to be single, whether or not I'm still romantically involved with Mr. B. (Shh--this is a secret.) I want to own a cute house somewhere along the CA coast, ideally in the greater bay area. I want to have a good ten, twelve close friends who come over and hang out and eat. I want PK to be in college somewhere in California, ideally near me, and for him and his friends to also come over and hang out and eat. I want to be writing and/or teaching a bit (but not in that horrible full-time all-encompassing way). I want to have freedom to travel in a modest way, like to visit friends or just get out of town for a weekend. I want my boyfriend to still be in the picture, and to be healthier mentally and physically.

ding said...

Hm. Good answer.

If I lived in LA, I think my life would look similar: living in a converted bungalows in the Fairfax district or one of those 3-4 bedroom houses from the 30s over by Arlington; being an area writer/consultant; seeing my family once a week, hosting big backyard parties that are known for being laid back and fabulous, not married but with plenty of lovin', and aging gracefully while I finally learn how to drive.

(and your secret is safe with me.)

No Nonsense said...

Good question. .

Let’s see I would be 53 years old too with a son about to enter college. First, great health! I would love to have my own show room and continued success in my career (but not in that frightfully back-breaking way that I have become accustomed to). Tons of worldwide travel. Still married in a state of contentment, an upgrade to larger home maybe on the water. Successfully publish one or two cook books. Enough friends to pull off an impromptu dinner party on a Saturday night. And a collection of good wine.

Anonymous said...

Damn you guys are BORING!

I would be president of a record company where all the artist would be on the top ten list. I would be married to Ding or she would be stalking me because she WANTS me! Yep, I said ME. I would have to nicely let her know how to act if she wants a brute like me, Highly successful and almost rich. Or, I would be a retiring legal person begging for some attention from some old broad who wants me when the one I wanted the younger one? Never gave a damn! AND, I would have to stop lying on her, telling people she wanted ME, when she never did. Shame, shame SHAME!

Okay,that makes me a bore, too.

ding said...

thanks for sharing...?