Monday, December 19, 2005

what bush would hear if he spied on me and my roomie

Roomie: uh, don't go in the kitchen.
Me: why?
R: i farted.
M: go stand over there! not here! over there!

(later)

M: i love project runway. i had a dream last night that nick was my best friend.
R: i dreamed trent lott was holding me prisoner and you killed him to rescue me.
M: you're so problematic. so would you kiss tom hanks?
R: mm, no. but he'd be a good husband, i think. but an asexual one.
M: i had a dream i was from outer space and my outer space brother and i settled in canada and, this is icky, we became lovers!! because we were from outer space!

(and still later)

R: it was totally your idea to buy the xbox.
M: it was not. you're the one who had a jones for it. i kept asking if you were sure!
R: but you weren't saying no! you seemed really excited about it!
M: because i didn't think you would do it! i would never goad you into buying something you didn't want!
R: but you did!
M: we so aren't talking about this anymore.
R: so. do you think president bush is a tool?
M: totally. president bush is a tool.

[and for confirmation of his toolness, you can read about it here: Bush Says U.S. Spy Program Is Legal and Essential]

5 comments:

jp 吉平 said...

Spill your secrets! Spill your national security secrets!

I'm the President of the United States of America! I keep your ass safe! Trust me! Now who farted, and where!

jp 吉平 said...

PS. I just reread your post about B minus, and I think you are on to something... the nightstand sex kit. condoms, lube, hand towel, dam, mint, bottle of water, etc. Put it all in a sexy leather case and market it to people like me and B minus, who don't plan ahead, or people like you, so you can give it as a gift. WE WILL MAKE MONEY HAND OVER FIST.

Delia Christina said...

you know, i was totally thinking the same thing. i'm giving him a kit.

bitchphd said...

An X Box? That's your big secret?

I'm shocked.

Delia Christina said...

it wasn't *my* secret. roomie was loathe to reveal the depths of nerdiness to which we have sunk.

zeke, don't think i haven't thought about that. maybe i'll include the list inside the sex kit. i do need to find a way to buy a pair of black flats and get my boots reheeled...