[you think this is going to be about katrina, privilege or something that makes everyone get all upset and angry. no. it's about my hair. but hang in there; it's a story then a question. y'all have to answer the question.]
There's a man in my office who has a certain fascination with my hair. He's older, in his mid-50's, and is one of the 3 men who work here. When we first met, he complimented me about my hair. Graciously, I said 'Thank you!' And I smiled. Then he kept doing it. Every day, something about my hair. How full, how glorious, how beautiful, how fabulous, how big, how stupendous, how whatever. And then he'd say, 'I mean this in a totally non-racist way, of course.'
Hmm, I'd think.
Then, when the snow and the cold came, I changed my hair. I blow-dried it straight so I could fit it under my hat. And when I came into the office, he almost died. He edged into my career station and said, 'Your hair! It's so...so...'
I said, 'It's only hair. But thanks.' And so it's been since before Thanksgiving.
If he talks about my hair one more time I'll blow. I've endured this since May and I will seriously have to read him a lesson if this continues.
Here's the question: why would comments about hair piss off a brown girl?
[yes, this is a test. it's much more interesting than asking if someone's been a victim of racism, huh?]
9 comments:
hee hee. remember that blow drier attachment in the 90s that made white women's hair enormous! good times.
i want to let other people answer before i do. will there be extra points for using the word 'jiggaboo?' (inside joke!)
only if it can be used in an utterly hilarious context that also includes the word 'yao-fen'.
But...you should be grateful for the affirmation that your hair is A Glorious Manifestation Of Black Womanhood And Nothing To Be Ashamed Of, So Gloriously Full It Is. Mr. Fifty is a hero, see, because he's not demanding that you straighten like Tyra Banks. I think his next step will be to counsel you to try a short natural 'do, as Another Culmination In Culturally Advanced Hairstyling.
I'm so sorry, but I don't know what "yao-fen" means, so I'm unable to work in that and "jigaboo."
But your hair IS fantastic! So exotic!
zeke, oh ick. now i won't be able to look him in the eye on monday. ptooey!
crappers.
i wanted to post a link to ampersand's advice to white folk but i put it under the post below.
go there!
you know, if it weren't for the "i don't mean to be racist' bit, and even in spite of it, i think he might just really be into your hair, and you. Some men are really just into hair. It's the daily complimenting that leads me to think that it might be misguided flirtation. If he were just being a racist prick, he'd not bother to notice you every day, no?
Now, it is irritating because, like somebody else said, he isn't doing that to everyone, man, he's singling you out, and assuming you are the only lady of color around, it would appear to be obvious why, and since hair is such a hugh marker of membership in black america...
have you tried saying, "well thanks joe, but what about my SHOES? You NEVER compliment my shoes!" then run off and weep.
exactly. he could be your average shoe perve and i'd just shrug and leave it at that.
well, now that we hired another african american woman, he's commenting on her hair, too. it's problematic, dude.
Just tell the guy he's an ODB.
Post a Comment