Monday, November 22, 2004

catch a tiger by his toe

American Prospect Online - ViewWeb

let's see. which democratic ethos gets kicked to the curb?

gays. definitely. yeah. love 'queer eye' but all that fabulosity is just too much for us, clearly. gays want benefits? they need to move to sweden. time for us straight liberals to get back down to the nitty gritty of aggressive heterosexuality. (that'll get the nascar dads for sure.)

or, how about women? yeah. deep down all chicks just want to be told what to do and with whom. (check out the success of "he's just not that into you" if you think i'm lying.) they really don't care what happens to their bodies. at least the young ones don't. and if they all just got freaking married, they could just do what their husbands tell them. sure!

hey - black people! forget about urban renewal - unless some monster redevelopment deal is on the table, of course. and racisim is clearly dead. we've visted all those churches at least twice - time to move on. the day of brown people is over - everyone knows that comfortable white suburbia is the place to go now for support. (even oprah knows that.)

eesh. we can drill in alaska, roll back OSHA and EPA rules; tell the unions to kiss our ass; the lower and working classes need to get with the program and realize that if they got their act together and went to community college, then they could tear themselves out of poverty and stop living paycheck to paycheck. and old people? they're almost dead anyway. geez.

it's so hard to choose. but hey! why stop at one principle? we could chuck all of them? wow, when you get rid of principles a whole new moral universe just breaks wide open. the potential of being a winner makes me positively giddy.

cuz that's the point. winning.

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