For the most part, my life has been about getting somewhere.
In grade school, it was about making it to junior high.
In junior high, I had my first anxieties about getting into college (a situation that was thrown into doubt because I failed a math test.)
And in high school, I worried about...everything. Even taxes.
(I remember standing in the hallway watching my father shave and, out of the random worry in my head, I asked him, 'Who will teach me how to do my taxes?? Or, will I naturally know how to do my taxes when I'm in college? Who taught you how to do taxes?'I've even managed to hit some benchmarks along the way: Grad school, degrees, corp job, moving to Chicago, living in Chicago, finally finding love, and having a grown up job at last.
And he said something like, 'Your mother.')
Despite that, I feel like all the happiness I'm feeling can be taken away suddenly, as if to teach me a lesson.
You ever feel like that?
3 comments:
Yes, I do. I'm not sure if the feeling of stability ever comes.
Yes, but I learned to stop it, and you must too. Sit back and enjoy the ride. And if happens to change, start over!
Yes. I feel even more unstable, more that I'm faking it now in my 30's than starting out. I wonder if I'll ever feel legit.
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