Scene: Ding sitting with Roomie and Guest at Gibson's, after being stood up.
Ding: I'm so hungry I could eat a small child.
Roomie: Look at all the meat...mmm...
Ding: Hm. Maybe I could eat half a child.
Roomie: And the sides. Mmm. Asparagus?
Ding: Omigod. Hashbrowns. Ok, I could eat half a child, some hashbrowns and asparagus.
Roomie: They have strawberry shortcake.
Ding: Jesus. One third a child, hashbrowns, asparagus, and strawberry shortcake.
Guest: You guys always like this?
(later, halfway through a gorgeous Chicago cut steak, 1/2 order of hashbrowns and asparagus)
Roomie: Is it rude to suck on the bone?
Ding: Do it. Suck the bone.
(disapproving look from unhealthily skinny Asian woman at the next table. Fascinated stares from the business men across the aisle, watching me and Roomie feast like Henry 8th.)
Roomie: (sucking her steak bone) Mmm. I love meat.
Ding: I want to eat until my panties roll down.
Guest: (snorting out his wine) I don't think I've ever heard a girl say that.
Ding: Welcome to Chicago.