Roomie (who wasn't my Roomie back then) and I had been hanging out in the pantry getting our coffee and yogurt when the head of HR stepped in with one of her HR friends. Back then, HR was run like a sorority and it wasn't an overstatement to say that no one liked them much.
Trying to ignore them, Roomie and I had busied ourselves with our coffee and yogurt but couldn't help but overhear a conversation that went like this:
HR Director (in her deep, whiskey and cigarette-whipped voice): I am so exhausted. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.
HR Flunky: Oh, no! What happened?
HRD: It was Dan. He peed on me again.
(Roomie and I exchange a silent, shocked glance.)
HRD: Oh, you know. When he drinks, he doesn't remember things and last night he totally peed on me. (Sigh) I had to clean up the bed, the closet...
(I mouth to Roomie - 'The closet??')
HRF: Ohmygod. Uh, I'm so sorry?
HRD: (sigh) But what are you gonna do, you know? I just hope he doesn't drink so much at the wedding and pee on me during the honeymoon.
(They leave the room. We wait until we can't hear their footsteps anymore and then immediately burst into raucous laughter.)
When Roomie and I remembered this story the other morning, it was like being there all over again.
'Oh my god, she actually married him!' I said, tearing up and laughing my ass off.
'They had a baby! Ha ha ha!' Roomie said.
I said, 'Oh, wait. Didn't we start calling her Urinal Cake after that?'
Roomie howled. 'Urinal Cake! Ha ha ha ha!'
We laughed so loud and hard, the people standing for the bus could hear us through the car windows.