we can cry at the office.
in fact, when i worked at my other firm (where there were only two men) tears were a natural part of the business day. when projects were overwhelming, when meetings got touchy, when a consultant was contemplating a career change - i'd see any number of women in my boss' office tearing up over a box of kleenex. (it was usually related to stress...)
tears were ok. when our boss told us she was buying out her partner, when we launched our new identity, when i told my boss i didn't like it there anymore, when we had our staff retreats - tears. there were tears at other firms too: when i made one particularly awful manager cry, when another manager made my office mate cry, when i got fired for making my manager cry - tears then, too. (not from me. i was too angry to cry.)
there was a time in this country that tears were a sign of sensibility; they were the indicators of finer feelings. but now they're just taken for being a wuss. or - not being a MAN.
are tears a sign of weakness? tears are a sign you're fucking human. if you don't cry, you're a robot and you're about to have a stroke or a heart attack.
are there appropriate places to cry? yes. office politics being what they are, i don't like crying in front of people i don't trust. i'm not too down with open displays of emotion, so i like the idea of finding an empty office or conference room and letting it out there. so much more discreet.
tears can also be strategic. i *know* i bought myself some time and just avoided getting fired from a job because i cried. in front of another woman, no less. stoicism and the 'i'm tough' thing can get you so far. sometimes you need to break down and sob a little.
how sad is it that women have to stifle a normal reaction to stress just to satisfy someone's fucked up notion of 'work'?
9 comments:
Hi sorry if I make you cry but in the work place you should always be proffesonal, crying is not professonal!
P.S.
I am a woman who has never cried at work.
first, no one has made me cry in the office.
second, there are many behaviors that aren't 'professional' in the workplace yet they exist. how many of us work for screamers, pounders, public humiliators and ... they're tolerated - and crying is not?
now, should we cry during a negotiation? i don't think so. should we cry during a presentation? i don't think so. but there are times when the urge to cry (from stress, from relief, from anger) will crop up and it's not necessarily a bad thing that it does.
it's not about the tears; crying is a basic human emotion. it's about what we assume when someone cries that matters in the workplace.
"tears can also be strategic. i *know* i bought myself some time and just avoided getting fired from a job because i cried."
ditto.
is that evil?
I'd say crying at the workplace fits in better with professionalism than errors in grammar and spelling, but that's just me. I've definitely cried at the office.
i'm all for strategic and emphatic use of profanity in the workplace.
and tears/profanity? good combo, gooch. i've seen it in action and it's priceless.
Come on! Get a grip! Life! or whatever the heck you lonely women need. It's not spell check, it's called typing too fast. You know when u, oops, I mean "you" want to get something off your chest and you don't give a f----k who reads it. This ain't your job! Its a blog post. I ain't changing for you. Obviously you understand me , don't you.
You ladies and gents go ahead and cry your hearts out.
this is what i like about anonymous commenters: they're hardly ever on task. they seem to have a trigger temper. they never know when to fucking relax.
boo hoo.
There, there, Ding. Don't cry. ;-)
(sob)
oh, orange. it's so awful when anonymous commenters are so mean!
(sniff)
their unartful commentary just breaks my heart!
(sob)
i'm sure i'll get over it.
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