father's day is gonna be goooood

So my father calls me at work (as is his wont.)

He tells me his plumber has written an interesting book...about penis size.

'Wait. Are you kidding? THAT'S his book?' I say.
Yes, my dad says. That's the book.

But when the plumber left an advance copy for my dad, he inscribed it with:
"To the prettiest man I know - Plumber (smiley face)"

'I'm confused,' my dad says. 'What does this mean?'

I'm laughing so hard I can barely say 'Man crush!'

'But he has a woman!'

I laughed harder. I can't stop laughing.