things have been lackluster here, haven't they?
i'm sorry; i've been spending all my time with the goody two shoes over at church gal.
it seems when you turn into a do-gooder, things get a little boring. i'll try and sex it up later.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
' they made up their own rat pack song!'
did you know there's a mormon version of the movie pride and prejudice?
no?
neither did we when we started to watch it.
(20 minutes into it, after the crucial party scene, i say to my roommate, 'um, i think this is a church movie.' she says, 'no way.'
later, after the heroine chastely rebuffs the rake, i say, 'i bet this was made by the church of latter day saints.' check it out. as movies made for religoius audiences go, it's not...that...bad.)
no?
neither did we when we started to watch it.
(20 minutes into it, after the crucial party scene, i say to my roommate, 'um, i think this is a church movie.' she says, 'no way.'
later, after the heroine chastely rebuffs the rake, i say, 'i bet this was made by the church of latter day saints.' check it out. as movies made for religoius audiences go, it's not...that...bad.)
Monday, May 30, 2005
happy memorial day: 'what i heard about iraq'
between the barbecues, the war movies and the parades, let's think a little bit about where we are now. when this national moment has its own place in some memorial day montage in the future, let's remember what we heard.
LRB | Eliot Weinberger : What I Heard about Iraq
LRB | Eliot Weinberger : What I Heard about Iraq
Saturday, May 28, 2005
The Well-Timed Period: EC: Just Ask For It
The Well-Timed Period: EC: Just Ask For It
a smart woman is a woman who's well-prepared. at your next pelvic ask for a script for EC. i will. (whoo hoo! july.)
a smart woman is a woman who's well-prepared. at your next pelvic ask for a script for EC. i will. (whoo hoo! july.)
week #3 at national non-profit is over and that last day sort of tried my last nerve.
the plan was rather simple. our office closed early but then my department decided, 'hey, let them leave even earlier!' yay, so happy were we. so i took a meeting at our annual meeting site, walked down wacker drive and helped two business men find the hyatt regency, bought a coffee at starpricks and then began to edit a document and clean out my inbox. i was going to be outta there by 1.30 and on my way to see B-. (more on that later.)
then our annual meeting awards arrived. i had to unwrap and check each one and, of course, found three that had come completely apart. two hours unwrapping, wrapping, checking, fed exing, complaining to awards guy. sweating. my white cotton ramie coolness that B- was to later unwrap and defile was soon grunty dusty papercut and funky.
(jesus. on the annoying music show, they're singing about anthropology and the classification of the 'races of man.' they just said negroid.)
speaking of B- the afternoon tryst was a little lackluster. not on his part. on mine. i wasn't present at all. sort of discouraged. he and i have nothing to talk about. i thought that was an impossibility, but it's sort of true. after dozing on the train ride up north (while an old black man stared at me the whole time) i arrived at B-'s, spilling half a bottle of water all over myself crashing through the front door. we sat on the couch.
i said, so how are things?
he said, i don't want to talk about work.
i said, ok. what about the B- that isn't work? how are you?
he said, i really don't have much time other than work. it was a really tough semester. i really don't like talking about work. i mean, if you were really interested in my work, i guess.
i said, i am interested in your work. why wouldn't i be?
so he shrugged and vented for a good while about his department and review last week. i didn't mind this at all. i like watching men talk about their work, especially if they enjoy it. and he does. he's good at what he does. he's smart and tough. i like that.
so we talked about other things. sort of. it wasn't real conversation. just interjections, non sequitors. my dad may be moving to chicago, i just started a student newspaper, i love my new job, i have to teach over the summer. one thing, though. when i told him how i'd been afraid about this choice i'd made about my life, my new job, he said, really? i don't think of you as being much afraid of anything.
this misreading is the heart of our problem. we don't know each other at all, despite knowing each other for about three years. (there are those who know how afraid i am; there's one man i've never met who knows me much better than B- does me. he knows how i fear failure, intimacy, commitment, change, the ocean; others know how i fear acid thrown in my face, blindness, prison and leprosy.) i could assume the blame for our gulf, but i don't want to carry it all on my own.
anyway, the rest of of the evening sagged. my mind was racing to other places far from that gray lit dusky apartment; he was valiant in the effort to bring me satisfaction but when i couldn't i just became generous in my willingness to make the rest 'about him.' the only time i caught a glimpse of the inner B- was when i was stretched out on the floor of his living room, watching him pick obscure chicano rock albums from his time in san antonio, listening to him sing offkey to question mark & the mysterians.
it was the most naked i had seen him and when he lifted the needle from the last record and began to kiss my neck i was sorry it had to end.
the plan was rather simple. our office closed early but then my department decided, 'hey, let them leave even earlier!' yay, so happy were we. so i took a meeting at our annual meeting site, walked down wacker drive and helped two business men find the hyatt regency, bought a coffee at starpricks and then began to edit a document and clean out my inbox. i was going to be outta there by 1.30 and on my way to see B-. (more on that later.)
then our annual meeting awards arrived. i had to unwrap and check each one and, of course, found three that had come completely apart. two hours unwrapping, wrapping, checking, fed exing, complaining to awards guy. sweating. my white cotton ramie coolness that B- was to later unwrap and defile was soon grunty dusty papercut and funky.
(jesus. on the annoying music show, they're singing about anthropology and the classification of the 'races of man.' they just said negroid.)
speaking of B- the afternoon tryst was a little lackluster. not on his part. on mine. i wasn't present at all. sort of discouraged. he and i have nothing to talk about. i thought that was an impossibility, but it's sort of true. after dozing on the train ride up north (while an old black man stared at me the whole time) i arrived at B-'s, spilling half a bottle of water all over myself crashing through the front door. we sat on the couch.
i said, so how are things?
he said, i don't want to talk about work.
i said, ok. what about the B- that isn't work? how are you?
he said, i really don't have much time other than work. it was a really tough semester. i really don't like talking about work. i mean, if you were really interested in my work, i guess.
i said, i am interested in your work. why wouldn't i be?
so he shrugged and vented for a good while about his department and review last week. i didn't mind this at all. i like watching men talk about their work, especially if they enjoy it. and he does. he's good at what he does. he's smart and tough. i like that.
so we talked about other things. sort of. it wasn't real conversation. just interjections, non sequitors. my dad may be moving to chicago, i just started a student newspaper, i love my new job, i have to teach over the summer. one thing, though. when i told him how i'd been afraid about this choice i'd made about my life, my new job, he said, really? i don't think of you as being much afraid of anything.
this misreading is the heart of our problem. we don't know each other at all, despite knowing each other for about three years. (there are those who know how afraid i am; there's one man i've never met who knows me much better than B- does me. he knows how i fear failure, intimacy, commitment, change, the ocean; others know how i fear acid thrown in my face, blindness, prison and leprosy.) i could assume the blame for our gulf, but i don't want to carry it all on my own.
anyway, the rest of of the evening sagged. my mind was racing to other places far from that gray lit dusky apartment; he was valiant in the effort to bring me satisfaction but when i couldn't i just became generous in my willingness to make the rest 'about him.' the only time i caught a glimpse of the inner B- was when i was stretched out on the floor of his living room, watching him pick obscure chicano rock albums from his time in san antonio, listening to him sing offkey to question mark & the mysterians.
it was the most naked i had seen him and when he lifted the needle from the last record and began to kiss my neck i was sorry it had to end.
just in case you needed to know when my unseemly attraction to bearded men wielding hammers began: Screed: why colonial house rocks
oh, why can't a cute unemployed carpenter live across the street from me?? (he's read guns, germs & steel!)
oh, why can't a cute unemployed carpenter live across the street from me?? (he's read guns, germs & steel!)
dork love
lordy. i found my old Colonial House object of obssession.
hee.
(hm...i never noticed how much he looks like the librarian.)
hee.
(hm...i never noticed how much he looks like the librarian.)
Thursday, May 26, 2005
ok. last one before going to bed.
so you're a brown woman looking for a kick ass job in corporate america.
where do you look?
maybe here.
like feministing, i gotta wonder where the worst companies are...
where do you look?
maybe here.
like feministing, i gotta wonder where the worst companies are...
so i changed some things on the sidebar to reflect how i do my blog reading every day. it's a mixture of friends, political sites, riotous women, very serious men who think very DEEP thoughts, and then there's fluff.
...
this friday our office closes early and i think i'm going to meet B- when he's finished teaching. think? i know i'll meet him. we circle each other like pigeons pecking at a crumb. after i eat the crumb, like persephone, i say, 'ok, that was one for the road. never again.' but then a month passes and...'hey, wanna grab a glass of wine?' funny. he doesn't even have a bottle opener.
...
this friday our office closes early and i think i'm going to meet B- when he's finished teaching. think? i know i'll meet him. we circle each other like pigeons pecking at a crumb. after i eat the crumb, like persephone, i say, 'ok, that was one for the road. never again.' but then a month passes and...'hey, wanna grab a glass of wine?' funny. he doesn't even have a bottle opener.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
yay, i guess.
Justice Choice Could Rekindle Filibuster Fight in the Senate - New York Times
hey, let's congratulate ourselves for pulling back from the brink of 'nucular' disaster. hey, good for us and our moderation. let's hear it for compromise. yay for us...
*crickets*
you do know, don't you, those three wacko judges are gonna be confirmed.
yeah. good job.
hey, let's congratulate ourselves for pulling back from the brink of 'nucular' disaster. hey, good for us and our moderation. let's hear it for compromise. yay for us...
*crickets*
you do know, don't you, those three wacko judges are gonna be confirmed.
yeah. good job.
Monday, May 23, 2005
this is ding's house.
maybe this is why i left grad school. i wasn't balanced enough. when i did my research, i was dedicated to what would prove my point. things that disturbed my point were either absorbed or...my point was changed to reflect these new findings. this, however, was rare. i was disinterested in finding whether or not something was 'true.' it was all a game, really. it was whether or not i could make the argument stand. point-counter point. your counter point beats mine? (shrug) i just find another point. so, to all those out there who want fair and balanced from ME, you're shit outta luck. i'm just as flawed and biased as the next person. (note to roomie: hey - i didn't erase your comment!)
...
today was a hard day. right under deadline, i finished writing my first non-profit sanctioned proposal! yay! it was fun! i love my job. i know i'll get tired of saying it, but for now, i am loving where i am. i've NEVER felt that before. yes, there are things i wish for, like a free pantry with a fridge full of soft drinks and a cupboard full of snacks you can order from pea pod. but when you're asking for pocket change to fund a program against sexual violence and abuse, i guess i can suck it up and bring my own effing soda.
...
today was a hard day. right under deadline, i finished writing my first non-profit sanctioned proposal! yay! it was fun! i love my job. i know i'll get tired of saying it, but for now, i am loving where i am. i've NEVER felt that before. yes, there are things i wish for, like a free pantry with a fridge full of soft drinks and a cupboard full of snacks you can order from pea pod. but when you're asking for pocket change to fund a program against sexual violence and abuse, i guess i can suck it up and bring my own effing soda.
i'm pretty sure this is wrong.
I am Indie Girl Click on the picture below to read more:
|
i'm hot.
no. literally. i'm hot. don't know if there's a thunderstorm entering the area but it's muggy and i'm sitting in the buff in front of my laptop at my bedroom window. (no one can see me from the street.)
gorgeous weekend in chicago. police officers tasered a belligerent baseball fan (those cubbies), a mother got her kidnapped baby back, a teenager was lost in the lake and never recovered, and oprah did a show on why women are most likely wearing the wrong size bra. (more on this later.)
saw star wars: RotS. or, Why George Lucas Can't Write Motivations for Shit. yes, it was 'better' than the others, but some quibbles:
gorgeous weekend in chicago. police officers tasered a belligerent baseball fan (those cubbies), a mother got her kidnapped baby back, a teenager was lost in the lake and never recovered, and oprah did a show on why women are most likely wearing the wrong size bra. (more on this later.)
saw star wars: RotS. or, Why George Lucas Can't Write Motivations for Shit. yes, it was 'better' than the others, but some quibbles:
- so...it's ok for padme to be pregnant and shacking up with her jedi boyfriend (secret husband), but not not ok to be pregnant AND a senator?
- despite it being 'the future', no one can figure out she's carrying twins?
- despite it being 'the future' no one can figure out how to stop a woman from dying in childbirth?
- and why, if he's all a jedi stickler, can't mace windu just wait to bring the chancellor to trial? why fly off the handle?? heat of battle? didn't search his feelings enough? huh?
- and isn't it really clear that the jedi aren't really all that smart? i mean, come on - who ELSE could have slaughtered younglings in the temple? maybe if there was a little less meditating and a little more investigating, this whole thing could have been avoided? shouldn't you have an intelligence network, at least?
- wouldn't anakin have been better off if everyone stopped telling him to 'search his feelings'? seems like it was his 'feelings' (i feel you're going to die, i feel like you don't trust me, i feel stupid) that got him in trouble. how about telling him to use his brain?
- how come, despite it being 'the future', everyone dresses like crap? no one is hot in the future.
- and who are the sith? a people, an ideology, a club? do i care anymore?
- AND, if R2D2 can do all this cool stuff, how come it didn't do it later? it forgot??
back to oprah and why she cares about my breasts. i have been wearing the wrong size bra. did you know that, in a correct bra, the apex of your breast is supposed to be the midway point between your shoulder and your elbow? new to me. i hate my bra. i can't wait to take it off when i get home. well, i may have found something to replace my bra. this. in fact, i love the whole spanx line. i wear their fishnets and they rock. they hold everything in, smoothes your lumps - who doesn't like that? it's not necessarily sexy, but then again, i'm not dressing to get it on in the office.
this is middle age, isn't it? when you start wondering about comfortable shoes and wearing support underwear.
Friday, May 20, 2005
because we argue about policy too late at night: tort reform
if you look for 'health care' and then click on 'search' you'll come to a page with quotes from the administration about policy. (my roomie was telling me why she's in favor of tort reform and why the dems are hurting regular people for being against it. love my roomie deeply, but i totally disagreed. and was too tired to debate.)
if you scroll down to the 9/4/2003 quote, click on the reference for the CBO report.
the money quote:
"The percentage effect of H.R. 4600 on overall health insurance premiums would be far smaller than the percentage impact on medical malpractice insurance premiums. Malpractice costs account for a very small fraction of total health care spending; even a very large reduction in malpractice costs would have a relatively small effect on total health plan premiums. In addition, some of the savings leading to lower medical malpractice premiums--those savings arising from changes in the treatment of collateral-source benefits--would represent a shift in costs from medical malpractice insurance to health insurance. Because providers of collateral-source benefits would be prevented from recovering their costs arising from the malpractice injury, some of the costs that would be borne by malpractice insurance under current law would instead be borne by the providers of collateral-source benefits. Most such providers are health insurers." [emphasis mine]
so. are outrageous malpractice suits damaging the country and ruining ordinary people and small businesses? i don't think so. neither does the congressional budget office.
love you!
if you scroll down to the 9/4/2003 quote, click on the reference for the CBO report.
the money quote:
"The percentage effect of H.R. 4600 on overall health insurance premiums would be far smaller than the percentage impact on medical malpractice insurance premiums. Malpractice costs account for a very small fraction of total health care spending; even a very large reduction in malpractice costs would have a relatively small effect on total health plan premiums. In addition, some of the savings leading to lower medical malpractice premiums--those savings arising from changes in the treatment of collateral-source benefits--would represent a shift in costs from medical malpractice insurance to health insurance. Because providers of collateral-source benefits would be prevented from recovering their costs arising from the malpractice injury, some of the costs that would be borne by malpractice insurance under current law would instead be borne by the providers of collateral-source benefits. Most such providers are health insurers." [emphasis mine]
so. are outrageous malpractice suits damaging the country and ruining ordinary people and small businesses? i don't think so. neither does the congressional budget office.
love you!
Thursday, May 19, 2005
priorities
so, i'm blowing off B- tonight to watch the CSI finale. it looks more exciting than an awkward glass of wine on the northside.
and then i'm going to wash my hair.
uh, and the deadline for the grant i'm supposed to be writing is coming up and i gotta work on that, too. dude.
and then i'm going to wash my hair.
uh, and the deadline for the grant i'm supposed to be writing is coming up and i gotta work on that, too. dude.
some things caught my eye while i hurriedly read the news late wednesday afternoon (i'm not blogging or anything at work because that'll just suck me into a hole of inactivity.)
1. wow. god really does protect idiots. (come on, you know you were thinking the same thing...)
2. maybe i'll include this on my list of science reading for the summer. but a question: in this entire article, isn't there some implicit understanding of the orgasm as a fundamental heterosexual function? i mean, what about masturbation? or even lesbian action?
3. a thought: i don't want to frolic with B-- when i meet him for a drink. yes, he was incredible the last time we were together but now...i'd really like my sex to actually mean something important. i was telling my ex-roomie this while we crossed the river this morning and a man walking behind us guffawed. but i'm serious. i want sex to actually start meaning more than just a way for me to burn calories and get my hair all messed up.
4. another thought: i need a really hot black shoe to wear with an office dress. one what won't make me walk funny or slow or slip off while crossing the street or get stuck in a grate or pinch my toes or hurt my knees or inflame my sciatica. any suggestions?
1. wow. god really does protect idiots. (come on, you know you were thinking the same thing...)
2. maybe i'll include this on my list of science reading for the summer. but a question: in this entire article, isn't there some implicit understanding of the orgasm as a fundamental heterosexual function? i mean, what about masturbation? or even lesbian action?
3. a thought: i don't want to frolic with B-- when i meet him for a drink. yes, he was incredible the last time we were together but now...i'd really like my sex to actually mean something important. i was telling my ex-roomie this while we crossed the river this morning and a man walking behind us guffawed. but i'm serious. i want sex to actually start meaning more than just a way for me to burn calories and get my hair all messed up.
4. another thought: i need a really hot black shoe to wear with an office dress. one what won't make me walk funny or slow or slip off while crossing the street or get stuck in a grate or pinch my toes or hurt my knees or inflame my sciatica. any suggestions?
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
eats, shoots and leaves
i love steve gilliard's blog. really. i do. but this pisses me off:
"Wal Mart comes from a culture where there is no accountability for the rich. And it's corporate practices, largely taking place in rural America, were not under any real scrutiny. But as the company grows, the management hasn't grown into it's responsibilities to match it's size."
say it with me, people: pronominal possessive!! aargh! ITS!!
"Wal Mart comes from a culture where there is no accountability for the rich. And it's corporate practices, largely taking place in rural America, were not under any real scrutiny. But as the company grows, the management hasn't grown into it's responsibilities to match it's size."
say it with me, people: pronominal possessive!! aargh! ITS!!
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