Tuesday, April 27, 2010

So I'm on the bus this morning, basking in the glow that today is my and M-'s 1 yr anniversary, and amazed that I'm still in love (though not irrationally so.)  I'm emailing a friend for drinks tomorrow night when I hear what is either a really phlegmy cough or...someone is vomiting.

This goes on for several stops. When we pull away from the curb I look down and see a tell-tale stream of someone's stomach contents.

Disgusted, I rear up and loudly say, "Oh, euwww! Really?? Really? You're just going to vomit all over the bus and just sit there! Disgusting! Totally disgusting!"

Everyone turns around. I stand up and move toward the rear exit. Another woman moves with me.

An older lady says, "He can't help it! What do you expect him to do?"

"Not ride the bus and vomit all over everything!"

The man, who looks like he's coming off a big drunk, then raises his head and says, "Shut the fuck up you bitch."

"Whatever. You're disgusting."

He lurches up and says, "Lemme off!"  Everyone gets out of his way. The smell of vomit is growing stronger and it's now all over the floor.  He staggers off the bus and I get off behind him.  There is no way in hell I'm sitting on a hot bus full of someone's sick.

And I watch him stagger behind a tree and vomit for the next 5 minutes then walk away.  Another bus comes and I stifle my dry heaves. I am mildly regretful that I called him disgusting, but then I get over it. This isn't frakking New York.

I try to get back in an anniversary mood but can't. Then I decide to interpret the incident as an analogy of the upheaval of modern relationships. 


Joy said...

the upheaval of modern relationships. HA! you have me trying to stifle laughter in a silent library. By the way, the anti-spam word is "croug," which seems to be suitably onomatopoeic for a tale of vomit.

Anyway, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! Have a wonderful celebration with M. You are both lucky folks.

Songbird said...

I'm glad for you, though not about the vomit. ;-)

liza said...

You're such a romantic. Upheaval indeed.