Ding, calling State Assault Organization : Hi, I’m working on a proposal and I’m looking for our state’s plan or report to address sexual assault in IL.
Ding: And it would also be great if you could tell me if the report on your website is the most recent and, if there is a newer one, when that’ll be up on your site or if you could email it to me.
Bureaucrat: New report…
Ding: Yeah. I’m writing this proposal and they require updated, current numbers about rape in Illinois.
Bureaucrat: Well, that’s the most recent one we have.
Ding: But all the stuff in it is from 2006. It’s 2009.
Bureaucrat: Well, we have other reports from other federal sources…
Ding: But those are all from 2003.
Bureaucrat: Yeah, they are.
Ding: Ok. Well, when can we have some updated numbers, at least on your agency report?
Bureaucrat: You know, I don’t think there are plans to update those numbers.
Ding: But they’re from 2006. You’re going to leave them up, like, forever??
Bureaucrat: Well, to be honest, you’re the first person to ever ask for it.
Ding: You are kidding me. (sputter sputter) I am the only person from a coalition agency to EVER request that our state statistics on violence against women be updated and publicly available on your website? EVER?
Bureaucrat: I’ve been communications director here a long time and, yeah. This is the longest conversation I’ve ever had about this.
Ding: Bureaucrat, you’ve shocked me. I’m speechless. And, yet, this explains so much.
So NO ONE in the whole state has ever expressed a desire to have Illinois-specific information collected in one spot to be updated on a regular basis??
Bureaucrat: Not that I can recall. Everyone just calls for the number of reported assaults in the state.
Ding: But that one number doesn’t tell you anything.
Bureaucrat: It tells you the number of reported assaults.
Ding: Which doesn’t tell me anything. It doesn’t tell me anything about trends, reasons why the number is what it is, who created the number or anything like that.
Bureaucrat: Well, no.
Ding: Ok, what happens to the report the state has to file justifying its receipt of federal assault money? Is that report ever made public?
Bureaucrat: I assume so.
Ding: Bureaucrat, you are going to give me a heart attack.
Bureaucrat: No one has ever asked this!
Ding: Theoretically, when would your agency consider updating the report that I’m looking at right now?
Ding: So, to get 2008 numbers I’d have to get into my time machine, travel two years into the future and then maybe I’d see the report that I need for today.
Ding: Heart attack, Bureaucrat. You are giving me a heart attack.
No wonder my sector is in the crapper if this is how it handles metrics.
I can understand how the lifecycle of creating such a report could take a couple years, but the fact that no one has ever asked for such a report boggles my mind. Not to ask the question?? At all??