oh, the internets.
always a good source of weird myspace pickups:

"nice pictures. what do you do for a living? how tall are you? what do you do for fun?" - F.
(hi, random.)

"I read your profile and would be very glad to talk with you in real time, to start our relationship.I'm gentle and passionate man with a velvet sight and tender hands, kind heart and purposeful, resolute character. I can be soft and gentle as a cat, and I can be a passionate lioness with my unique lion. I very romantic and very much love a life! In fact in it so a lot of interesting! Very much I like to travel, meet interesting an pls if u wanna get to contact me real fast i mean to know each other better u can IM me on this yahoo ID [boop] u can as the same drop urs too thank u." - D.
(he's my favorite; notice how his language deteriorates as his message continues.)

"when i move to chicago u gona be my friend?" - G.
(um, no.)

"you like to be entertain me to were do you like to go?" - Godly
(the irony.)
...
the flaming bag of poo called work is finally over this week. and - i was dinged yesterday for wearing jeans - despite my wonderful new jacket and 'denim trousers.' (they're trousers! not jeans!) i was told i now have to be 'an example.' dude. after years of giving management the finger, i'm about to be coopted!

but thank you, S-, for your unique relaxation technique this afternoon. worked a charm. (hee!)