Cop Out vs. “Opt Out”

There are two articles about women and work this weekend: one from the New York Times magazine writer Lisa Belkin (http://www.nytimes.com/2003/10/26/magazine/26WOMEN.html) and one today from Salon’s Joan Walsh rebutting it (‘Clueless in Manhattan’—you have to subscribe to see the full article or get their day pass.)

The line of Belkin’s argument is easy to follow since there isn't one; it’s basically another ‘feminism has failed middle class white women somehow and so this is my choice’ piece – at least that’s the way I read it. But three things caught my eye. There’s this paragraph:

“Look at how all these numbers compare with those of men. Of white men with M.B.A.'s, 95 percent are working full time, but for white women with M.B.A.'s, that number drops to 67 percent. (Interestingly, the numbers for African-American women are closer to those for white men than to those for white women.)”

Interesting how black women don’t choose to be part of this Opt Out Revolution, huh? I wonder why? Really, I do; I'm not being snarky. I wonder several things she never answered or even investigated: What are those numbers for black women, exactly? Why don’t women of color choose to opt out? Where are the women of color in her piece? What would those women have said? I’m not saying she MUST interview women of color but, hey, she brought it up. Why not follow that thread and see where it leads?

Then there’s this:
“Why don't women run the world? Maybe it's because they don't want to.”

I don’t know who Belkin hangs out with or where she found these sad-sack women, but I’ll stand next to Walsh and say, I wanna run the world! Why not remake the world? Why not wipe some slates clean and tell some people what to do and where to go? Will I ever? Odds are, not really. But odds also are, who knows? Wouldn’t it be great if a 34-year old brown woman with almost a PhD could change something?

This world sucks! There’s a growing uneducated underclass, our inner cities are getting poorer, our labor force is growing smaller (and poorer), access to education and healthcare by the lower middle class and working class is shrinking, the economy stinks, our political process has been hijacked by radical conservative extremists and we haven’t even addressed our geo-political quagmire over there in the Middle East. What world are these women living in that they’re so comfortable they can’t even think about changing anything?

What struck me while reading the bleating justifications for leaving work by the women interviewed was the question, Why should we care about these women if they don’t want to run the world or show even the least ambition to do something other than bear and care for children (something at least half the world’s population can do)? Should we care what ambition-less upper class privileged women think? Why should we care when it’s so obvious they don’t? Here are the words of an Opt Out Woman:

''I don't want to take on the mantle of all womanhood and fight a fight for some sister who isn't really my sister because I don't even know her.''

Wow. It must be true. Feminism must be dead if sisterhood can’t even get a shout-out.

And then I tried to imagine what Belkin’s article might have looked like if she had interviewed a woman of color who didn’t go to an Ivy League school, but attended two good ones like UCLA and University of Michigan, has managed to hang on to a job in this messed up economy and can’t ‘opt out’ because she makes less than 50k annually. I think the interview would be rather short:

Q: There are a group of previously successful women who have chosen not to pursue work, who have chosen instead to stay at home and raise their kids. Is this an option for you?
A: Uh, no.
Q: But you have, haven’t you? You left your Ph.D program—you were on the academic track and then you left it.
A: But not to raise kids. I left it because I was eating ramen out of a coffeemaker and hated living in a small town in the middle of nowhere. That was a quality of life decision. And I’m single, by the way.
Q: But if you could, would you?
A: Would I what?
Q: Not work. If you could stay home to raise kids, your husband makes enough money, you don’t have to work, would you still work?
A: We can live off one income?? Wow. Truthfully, I think I’d go nuts; am I writing while I’m home? Am I working from home? Do I have a book deal? That would be great.
Q: No, you’re not working. You’ve stopped working to raise your children. It’s to raise your kids.
A: I can’t afford not to work.
Q: But you can—hypothetically.
A: Ah. Hypothetically.