it's late (i just spent 90 minutes straightening my hair) but in honor of the passing of B- (and to deflect any self-pitying tangents) i'd like to know who is the one who still makes you dizzy when you think about them? (the one who got away, the one you picked, the one you just glanced at on the el - who?)
mine was S-, an unemployed web developer in brooklyn. he was my first Nerver. tan skin, hair that stuck straight up, black rimmed glasses and a rower's butt. quirky, funny, neurotic as hell. he told me a story about blinding a mouse with hairspray and i was a goner. i flew out to brooklyn, we frolicked, he asked if black people ate asparagus...gosh, i liked him alot. he made me nuts.
no...maybe it's K-, my massive crush from grad school who'd wear a kilt to teach...or maybe it was M-... well, let's just stop there.
who's yours?
6 comments:
Hm...J-the-indian-soon-to-be-doc (who is not, I should point out, Dr. P) was the, ahem, largest, and as much as I hate to admit it, could still probably, as the kids say, *get it*
But...
nope, that fucker had me screaming. sorry. Just him. I really tried to think of someone else, though. No dice.
I've got an unrequited B. myself.
Hi have 3 that haunt me:
1. S.A--love of my life in college, poet, tennis pro turn ATF agent who has big guns, often grows a beard and works undercover buying illegal firearms and drugs. Sexy.
2. D.S. most recent ex who just vacated my property but left his smell lingering enough for me to sigh and fall into daydreams. Then again, he owes me a lot of $$$ so he'll haunt me for a while
3. Our very own CT will haunt me forever. Love like that is seldom found, people, and if you chose to leave it, promise yourself to remember it forever and make it the standard for future lovers.
Ohh! Glad i got those monkeys of my back. Good topic, got me thinking....
Hm. The 24-year old film student was, I must admit, the best lay I ever had--until suddenly he wasn't. But fond memories...
The current boyfriend makes me dizzy for entirely other reasons. 24yo was all about crazy technique and mutual kinks; boyfriend is all about a kind of emotional intensity that no one else has ever had. It kind of freaks me out, actually, and I can't get enough of it.
There's always more than one, when we're talking about these ones. There's the one who haunts me because of the way I made him go away. So young, and so naive. M, my high school best friend, who was in my mind platonic, then when he got jealous and threatened to tell me mom about all my bad behavior in my sneaking around to see one of his dorm neighbors during our freshman year of college, I cut him from my life. Just like that. One phone call.
Then of course there's his dorm neighbor, S. The One I picked. When Harjo says love changes our molecular structure, I know its true. 15 yrs later and he still makes me giddy.
Nothing like self reflection and desire.
you're right. there's always more than one - for different reasons.
there's J-, the one who was never going to be mine (sexual orientation is like that) but who showed me, nonetheless, that i had the capacity to care deeply and more steadfastly than i have since. we had an intimate friendship and i inevitably compare every relationship (casual or not) to it.
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