anniesj: a word to the wise
so, if there are any secret service type individuals out there reading this little thing, let me be clear:
i do not want specific harm to come to our president. i just wish he wasn't as ferociously dumb and incompetent as he is.
when i said on the evite that i thought of 'brutally sodomizing a republican' that was not a threat against our president (though he is a republican)
i am notoriously non-violent (though i do shiver a little at the thought of a bill clinton/shrub deathmatch.)
and while it's nice to imagine a world wherein he was not, i think it would be best if shrublette just went back home to crawford.
and while the word 'hate' is certainly harsh, it's not *actionable*.
i don't think.
Friday, October 29, 2004
for my roomie
They Will Know Us By Our T-Shirts: July 2004
mentioned this site earlier - the travails of an earnest guy named ben who lives in st paul, mn and works in christian retail. i know, sort of unexpected for screed. but i actually like his blog. as a big fan of early christian pop (cough) i gotta give props to anyone who works in christian retail.
(yes. i was a HUGE dork.)
i dedicate this link to A-- and her native homeland.
mentioned this site earlier - the travails of an earnest guy named ben who lives in st paul, mn and works in christian retail. i know, sort of unexpected for screed. but i actually like his blog. as a big fan of early christian pop (cough) i gotta give props to anyone who works in christian retail.
(yes. i was a HUGE dork.)
i dedicate this link to A-- and her native homeland.
Paste Magazine :: Home
believe it or not, found this music site through Christian Retail (a blog about life working in a Christian bookstore. hilarious. i've linked to it on ChurchGal.)
believe it or not, found this music site through Christian Retail (a blog about life working in a Christian bookstore. hilarious. i've linked to it on ChurchGal.)
Thursday, October 28, 2004
mosh, bitches, mosh!
BBC NEWS Programmes Newsnight New Florida vote scandal feared
when it's all over, what's most important is what happens in that voting booth. and that means committing to it. it's not an errand you can shrug and slough off if it doesn't get done. it's not like going to the local cafe, the line's too long and you think, 'fuckit.' no! you can't say 'fuckit!'
the BBC article uncovers a GOP tactic they're using to intimidate voters in primarily black areas (there were scads of articles yesterday about how the minority vote this election year is hugely significant for kerry.)
in order for the GOP to win they MUST suppress brown people from voting, and they're doing it with challenges. multiple challenges will slow the voting line and they're hoping that it makes people leave the polling location.
some suggestions (even if you're not brown):
vote early.
make back up plans (work, babysitter, etc.) in case you have to wait for a while. do NOT leave the line.
if you can wait but someone else is in a hurry, let them go first.
do NOT challenge a challenger (the GOP wants footage of fights and confrontations. as much as i want a nation of islam beat down, that's not going to help.)
use the handy moveon.org voter card thingy (can't find the link so go to the site) to report serious violations or voter intimidation.
vote early. wait as long as you have to.
(and if you haven't seen the eminem video, you really should.)
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
mosh
Guerrilla News Network
i never thought i'd say this about eminem - it works. it totally totally works. it's angry, it's smart, it's righteous, it's good. it says everything i've been feeling. already the most requested video on mtv's trl.
get yourself a black hoodie and watch it.
i never thought i'd say this about eminem - it works. it totally totally works. it's angry, it's smart, it's righteous, it's good. it says everything i've been feeling. already the most requested video on mtv's trl.
get yourself a black hoodie and watch it.
i feel better
Lake Worth man accused of 'political attack' on girlfriend: South Florida Sun-Sentinel
1. nutbag
2. what a catch: jail, marines, psychiatric exam, GED
my rage is tiny compared to this man's.
(thanks, feckless)
1. nutbag
2. what a catch: jail, marines, psychiatric exam, GED
my rage is tiny compared to this man's.
(thanks, feckless)
lazy lazy lazy
WSJ.com - As a Final Gambit, Parties Are Trying to Damp Turnout
short version: dems see voter suppression in GOP challenges to minority and new registered votes. republicans see voter suppression in airing criticism of president.
HOW are these two things equivalent??
short version: dems see voter suppression in GOP challenges to minority and new registered votes. republicans see voter suppression in airing criticism of president.
HOW are these two things equivalent??
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
in a mood
you may have noticed i seem to be on edge lately.
it's this damn election.
everyone i know is in a state of nerves. we're jittery, watching every poll, wincing at the electoral college map, indulging in fantasies of republican watchdogs getting chased from poll sites across the country. there's a scent of incipient revolution in the air. that edgy, quiet, 'you're going to get your ass kicked when the school bell strikes 3, meet me in back of the gym' kind of feeling.
i've retreated back to my comic books (100 bullets rocks, by the way, as does new frontier) and when i lay in bed, my heart is racing. do republicans dream about fleeing the country? i'm serious. are republicans in bed wondering how they can give up their citizenship and make a life for themselves in toronto?
this election cycle has made me militant again. i haven't felt this way since college. i want to picket, shout, march, throw something. overturn a table. write a slogan with chalk. get on a soapbox and shout into a megaphone. but i'm also a little weepy. there's a social event tonight, a dinner with some discussion mixed in, and if something is said about this election i will burst into tears and yell at somebody.
you know what i want? i want bill clinton to come over my house, hold my hand, and look gently into my eyes as i cry about everything that's wrong with this country. then i want him to go over to shrub's house and kick him in the butt.
it's this damn election.
everyone i know is in a state of nerves. we're jittery, watching every poll, wincing at the electoral college map, indulging in fantasies of republican watchdogs getting chased from poll sites across the country. there's a scent of incipient revolution in the air. that edgy, quiet, 'you're going to get your ass kicked when the school bell strikes 3, meet me in back of the gym' kind of feeling.
i've retreated back to my comic books (100 bullets rocks, by the way, as does new frontier) and when i lay in bed, my heart is racing. do republicans dream about fleeing the country? i'm serious. are republicans in bed wondering how they can give up their citizenship and make a life for themselves in toronto?
this election cycle has made me militant again. i haven't felt this way since college. i want to picket, shout, march, throw something. overturn a table. write a slogan with chalk. get on a soapbox and shout into a megaphone. but i'm also a little weepy. there's a social event tonight, a dinner with some discussion mixed in, and if something is said about this election i will burst into tears and yell at somebody.
you know what i want? i want bill clinton to come over my house, hold my hand, and look gently into my eyes as i cry about everything that's wrong with this country. then i want him to go over to shrub's house and kick him in the butt.
Monday, October 25, 2004
if you say so
The Nonsense Factor (washingtonpost.com)
on one hand, mr. cohen has a point. i guess after hearing mr. o'reilly brag about the can of whupass he'd open on any woman stupid enough to lodge a complaint against him, ms. mackris should have been a little more forceful in her objections. there was no need to get all litigious about it. but on the other, how else to punish the guy who transgressed the boundaries of acceptable behavior in the first place?
i mean, really, what's a girl to do?
i know. let's handle it like men. let's get a little assertive. since we don't want to be called 'complicit' in our own harrassment - since we don't want to be too passive - let's send a more immediate, active message to the creep who can't take 'no, thanks' for an answer. we can wait in the dark of unpeopled parking lots with our masked girlfriends, watching as our corporate tormentor unlocks his car, waiting for the perfect moment to get our 'NO' across. yeah, a gender mugging seems to be in order.
you know, just to show we're not pussies.
or, if that's still not immediate enough for mr. cohen, how about just busting a karate chop to some guy's larynx to illustrate just how uncooperative we are?
cuz if that's how he wants to play the oldest game known to mankind, well, ok.
(jackass.)
on one hand, mr. cohen has a point. i guess after hearing mr. o'reilly brag about the can of whupass he'd open on any woman stupid enough to lodge a complaint against him, ms. mackris should have been a little more forceful in her objections. there was no need to get all litigious about it. but on the other, how else to punish the guy who transgressed the boundaries of acceptable behavior in the first place?
i mean, really, what's a girl to do?
i know. let's handle it like men. let's get a little assertive. since we don't want to be called 'complicit' in our own harrassment - since we don't want to be too passive - let's send a more immediate, active message to the creep who can't take 'no, thanks' for an answer. we can wait in the dark of unpeopled parking lots with our masked girlfriends, watching as our corporate tormentor unlocks his car, waiting for the perfect moment to get our 'NO' across. yeah, a gender mugging seems to be in order.
you know, just to show we're not pussies.
or, if that's still not immediate enough for mr. cohen, how about just busting a karate chop to some guy's larynx to illustrate just how uncooperative we are?
cuz if that's how he wants to play the oldest game known to mankind, well, ok.
(jackass.)
total nightmare
Canceling Units Lesson
how did this happen to me?
i'm tutoring a 9th grade boy in MATH.
what the hell.
shit.
how did this happen to me?
i'm tutoring a 9th grade boy in MATH.
what the hell.
shit.
where's the nation of islam when you need them?
The New York Times > Washington > Campaign 2004 > Big G.O.P. Bid to Challenge Voters at Polls in Key State
my totally problematic fantasy: inner city polling place, republican poll watcher 'challenges' a voter. said republican watcher gets his ass kicked by a righteous nation of islam brother. or two.
my totally problematic fantasy: inner city polling place, republican poll watcher 'challenges' a voter. said republican watcher gets his ass kicked by a righteous nation of islam brother. or two.
the coolest ever.
glarkware
so saturday i'm wearing a t-shirt my friend K gave me for my birthday. i'm sorta busty so it pulls across nicely (heh). anyway, the point is this is my first non-sleepware t-shirt and I LOVE IT!!
(which one is it? just look for the cowgirl from the double-F ranch!)
go buy someone a snarky t-shirt.
so saturday i'm wearing a t-shirt my friend K gave me for my birthday. i'm sorta busty so it pulls across nicely (heh). anyway, the point is this is my first non-sleepware t-shirt and I LOVE IT!!
(which one is it? just look for the cowgirl from the double-F ranch!)
go buy someone a snarky t-shirt.
Friday, October 22, 2004
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Team America, Meet Feminist Theory: Yeah, I get it.
You know, except for its rampaging sexism and homophobia, Team America was pretty funny.
Funny: ‘freedom costs a buck-oh-five’ montage, puppet sex, the vomit, the violence. When the Eiffel Tower falls and crashes into the Arc d’ Triomphe, I almost choked on my Diet Coke. Oh, and when the terrorists crash into the Sphinx, explode, and the Sphinx head totally lands on the wreckage? Funny. And Spottwood’s careening chair? Classic. Funny. Kim Jung Il’s song of loneliness? Hilarious. Sharing feelings while shooting Koreans from the sky? Totally funny. “Durka durka jihad jihad ali”? Completely funny.
Not funny: Dicks, pussies, and assholes. F.A.G. (Film Actors Guild) (every time a puppet said ‘fag’ I just cringed. I hate that word.)
Basically, their whole world theory is “It’s better to be a dick than a pussy or asshole because dicks fuck both.” Without dicks, pussies would be useless, assholes would shit on everything and we’d all be fucked. From what I could see, dicks are apparently the preemptive strike (white) guys and the gun-totin’ babes who love them; pussies are ‘faggy’ liberals, protesters, other world powers and feminists; and assholes are terrorist nutbag dictators who want to screw up everything because we screwed up their lives or they have personal issues.
One word: PHALLOCENTRISM.
Funny: ‘freedom costs a buck-oh-five’ montage, puppet sex, the vomit, the violence. When the Eiffel Tower falls and crashes into the Arc d’ Triomphe, I almost choked on my Diet Coke. Oh, and when the terrorists crash into the Sphinx, explode, and the Sphinx head totally lands on the wreckage? Funny. And Spottwood’s careening chair? Classic. Funny. Kim Jung Il’s song of loneliness? Hilarious. Sharing feelings while shooting Koreans from the sky? Totally funny. “Durka durka jihad jihad ali”? Completely funny.
Not funny: Dicks, pussies, and assholes. F.A.G. (Film Actors Guild) (every time a puppet said ‘fag’ I just cringed. I hate that word.)
Basically, their whole world theory is “It’s better to be a dick than a pussy or asshole because dicks fuck both.” Without dicks, pussies would be useless, assholes would shit on everything and we’d all be fucked. From what I could see, dicks are apparently the preemptive strike (white) guys and the gun-totin’ babes who love them; pussies are ‘faggy’ liberals, protesters, other world powers and feminists; and assholes are terrorist nutbag dictators who want to screw up everything because we screwed up their lives or they have personal issues.
One word: PHALLOCENTRISM.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
SO don't need this
Salon.com News | Poll: Bush doubles support among blacks
grr. and my dad's among them.
oh, democratic party, see what you've done??!!
aargh.
i'm going to a movie so i can eat a hot dog, a chocolate bar, and watch team america kick puppet ass.
grr. and my dad's among them.
oh, democratic party, see what you've done??!!
aargh.
i'm going to a movie so i can eat a hot dog, a chocolate bar, and watch team america kick puppet ass.
Monday, October 18, 2004
boss in a meeting: yet another reason why not to have kids...
Majority of Teens - 67% - Think Faith in God Belongs in the White House According to an American Bible Society Study
..because they grow up to be teenagers and get really stupid.
..because they grow up to be teenagers and get really stupid.
dude. take a valium.
The New York Times > National > Rally Against Gay Marriage Draws Thousands to Capital
Dr. Dobson said in an interview that he planned to refrain from endorsing candidates at the event, which was officially nonpartisan. But he added that he recently awoke from a nightmare that Mr. Kerry had been elected president and then appointed Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton as chief justice of the Supreme Court.
"That alarms me greatly," Dr. Dobson said.
Dr. Dobson said in an interview that he planned to refrain from endorsing candidates at the event, which was officially nonpartisan. But he added that he recently awoke from a nightmare that Mr. Kerry had been elected president and then appointed Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton as chief justice of the Supreme Court.
"That alarms me greatly," Dr. Dobson said.
the gay thing
The New York Times > Opinion > Op-Ed Columnist: The Lowest Blow
On Mary Cheney’s sexual orientation (not lifestyle) William Safire’s Monday column says: “Until that moment, only political junkies knew that a member of the Cheney family serving on the campaign staff was homosexual.”
It’s one thing to see the paper's resident conservative whine about manners (implying that it’s rude to recognize someone’s sexuality in public) rather than dismantle the poverty in our public political discourse to discuss sexuality and orientation.
But it’s another to see that Safire is wrong on a more fundamental level. There’s a whole lot of other people who knew Mary Cheney was gay – the gay community who benefited from at least 10 years of her activism and advocacy, as well as her partner, friends, and colleagues. (Part of her work at Coors was heading up outreach to the gay community so she was definitely out to her firm.)
The point of Kerry's comments is not to 'confuse or dismay' Bush's evangelical base. It's to expose the absurdity and instability of their homophobia. (I'd say confusion and a feeling of dismay is 'dissonance' - the result of recognizing that the foundation of a previously held belief is shaky.) If there is a political gain from it, well, la di da. (And what intellectual dishonesty to not expect that.)
But Safire, and the rest of the conservative party, is blind to that. In his view, only heterosexuals get to be public with their sexuality. A gay person should live in isolated shadow. For Safire, there is no gay community. There is no wider life for a gay or lesbian other than how they relate to straight people. And, for the sake of decorum, there shouldn't be.
I’m sure the gay community thanks him for that.
Safire's column is like a veiled dance, revealing his mannerly homophobia even while trying to conceal it.
On Mary Cheney’s sexual orientation (not lifestyle) William Safire’s Monday column says: “Until that moment, only political junkies knew that a member of the Cheney family serving on the campaign staff was homosexual.”
It’s one thing to see the paper's resident conservative whine about manners (implying that it’s rude to recognize someone’s sexuality in public) rather than dismantle the poverty in our public political discourse to discuss sexuality and orientation.
But it’s another to see that Safire is wrong on a more fundamental level. There’s a whole lot of other people who knew Mary Cheney was gay – the gay community who benefited from at least 10 years of her activism and advocacy, as well as her partner, friends, and colleagues. (Part of her work at Coors was heading up outreach to the gay community so she was definitely out to her firm.)
The point of Kerry's comments is not to 'confuse or dismay' Bush's evangelical base. It's to expose the absurdity and instability of their homophobia. (I'd say confusion and a feeling of dismay is 'dissonance' - the result of recognizing that the foundation of a previously held belief is shaky.) If there is a political gain from it, well, la di da. (And what intellectual dishonesty to not expect that.)
But Safire, and the rest of the conservative party, is blind to that. In his view, only heterosexuals get to be public with their sexuality. A gay person should live in isolated shadow. For Safire, there is no gay community. There is no wider life for a gay or lesbian other than how they relate to straight people. And, for the sake of decorum, there shouldn't be.
I’m sure the gay community thanks him for that.
Safire's column is like a veiled dance, revealing his mannerly homophobia even while trying to conceal it.
Friday, October 15, 2004
our weekend plan to drive to minneapolis to pick up some chairs is rapidly disintegrating. so far, a banking snafu has blocked access to funds (damn you, wells fargo), a stupid hertz rule won't let us rent a car and now i have to fake a doctor's note that says i have ocular degeneration.
i'd say these are all signs we shouldn't be on the road tonight.
...
after my total breakdown in response to my father's capitulation to the GOP's campaign of fear, i've evened out. i was worried for a little bit that i may have hurt my dad's feelings irrevocably, but i think everything is ok. i don't want him to get all distressed and depressed. he's a widower, for pete's sake.
but it's clear that he and i can never talk about politics again. the divide is too great.
instead we'll talk about why i'm no longer a virgin. (sigh)
...
last night our church social com'tee met at cru to plan our next dinner. a guy, anil, joined us for the first time. all was well, until i made the mistake of saying that abstinence only programs don't work. he wanted to know what i meant and that started us on sex ed, the church and sex ed, incentives as anti-christian (his idea, not ours), free will, the total god-ability of jesus and whether or not doubt is counter to faith or is actually disbelief.
needless to say, he will be seated at C's table during dinner.
i'd say these are all signs we shouldn't be on the road tonight.
...
after my total breakdown in response to my father's capitulation to the GOP's campaign of fear, i've evened out. i was worried for a little bit that i may have hurt my dad's feelings irrevocably, but i think everything is ok. i don't want him to get all distressed and depressed. he's a widower, for pete's sake.
but it's clear that he and i can never talk about politics again. the divide is too great.
instead we'll talk about why i'm no longer a virgin. (sigh)
...
last night our church social com'tee met at cru to plan our next dinner. a guy, anil, joined us for the first time. all was well, until i made the mistake of saying that abstinence only programs don't work. he wanted to know what i meant and that started us on sex ed, the church and sex ed, incentives as anti-christian (his idea, not ours), free will, the total god-ability of jesus and whether or not doubt is counter to faith or is actually disbelief.
needless to say, he will be seated at C's table during dinner.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
getting a little tired of these stories...
Pharmacist cites sin in birth control case - The Washington Times: Nation/Politics - October 12, 2004
sigh.
so, if using birth control is a sin, then forcing a woman to give birth would be...what?
sigh.
so, if using birth control is a sin, then forcing a woman to give birth would be...what?
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
one more time...the debate
what the hell is a skimmer hat? again, chris matthews sucks.
(jimmy smits on the west wing? yuumm... ooh, a buzzer! see a bulge?)
opening question: who knew flu was so important?
...
snooze. i'm already bored. fascinating that bush can 'remember' all these numbers.
...
nice. start talking about jobs and then talk about education. snap on you george.
i'm gonna let A-- do her thang on Feckless.
i can't take this anymore.
...
i'm back.
have you seen the new l.l. bean catalog? they have some really cute stuff!
i love how kerry is kicking ass. he does not back down. he's fighting for every single point. yay!
and he just said 'iraq' about 5 times in one sentence. snap again.
i really don't know how invading iraq is defending our country. yeah, kerry - slap him on the 'global test'! let's hear it for the TRUTH STANDARD!
A-- just lost her shit over the gun stuff. 'preemptive strike against iraq vs. preemptive strike against criminals! freak! it's like he's the retarded child in the classroom!'
oh my god. bush went back to the pell grant. it's like his lucky charm. and what does this have to do with affirmative action? he totally blew off that affirmative action question. "whew! let me start with the pell grant." but he did meet with the black congressional caucus. (i think kerry meant the naacp).
not another faith question. 'i receive calmness in the storms of the presidency.' (A--'s response: 'in the vacancy of your brain?') this religious sentimentality is just a sop to those out there who cling to hallmark greeting card cliches.
how old IS bob schieffer, anyway?
what is bush talking about?? whooo...
closing statements: you can hear kerry's spit. did bush actually memorize the whole thing?
(jimmy smits on the west wing? yuumm... ooh, a buzzer! see a bulge?)
opening question: who knew flu was so important?
...
snooze. i'm already bored. fascinating that bush can 'remember' all these numbers.
...
nice. start talking about jobs and then talk about education. snap on you george.
i'm gonna let A-- do her thang on Feckless.
i can't take this anymore.
...
i'm back.
have you seen the new l.l. bean catalog? they have some really cute stuff!
i love how kerry is kicking ass. he does not back down. he's fighting for every single point. yay!
and he just said 'iraq' about 5 times in one sentence. snap again.
i really don't know how invading iraq is defending our country. yeah, kerry - slap him on the 'global test'! let's hear it for the TRUTH STANDARD!
A-- just lost her shit over the gun stuff. 'preemptive strike against iraq vs. preemptive strike against criminals! freak! it's like he's the retarded child in the classroom!'
oh my god. bush went back to the pell grant. it's like his lucky charm. and what does this have to do with affirmative action? he totally blew off that affirmative action question. "whew! let me start with the pell grant." but he did meet with the black congressional caucus. (i think kerry meant the naacp).
not another faith question. 'i receive calmness in the storms of the presidency.' (A--'s response: 'in the vacancy of your brain?') this religious sentimentality is just a sop to those out there who cling to hallmark greeting card cliches.
how old IS bob schieffer, anyway?
what is bush talking about?? whooo...
closing statements: you can hear kerry's spit. did bush actually memorize the whole thing?
derrida is dead!
Obit-Derrida, 1st Writethru
strange how sad i feel. i didn't feel this way when that other guy died. (crap, i can't remember his name...the one who wrote 'orientalism'!! aagh crap crap crap...Said!)
i hated reading him. i saw him at two lectures at ucla and wanted to beat him over the head with my shoes. everytime someone (amit) wanted to explain the 'derridian sense of play' i rolled my eyes and imagined knightley showing me what was under his kilt.
but he's dead. and i'm sad.
strange how sad i feel. i didn't feel this way when that other guy died. (crap, i can't remember his name...the one who wrote 'orientalism'!! aagh crap crap crap...Said!)
i hated reading him. i saw him at two lectures at ucla and wanted to beat him over the head with my shoes. everytime someone (amit) wanted to explain the 'derridian sense of play' i rolled my eyes and imagined knightley showing me what was under his kilt.
but he's dead. and i'm sad.
more suckage from the GOP
Daily Kos :: Political Analysis and other daily rants on the state of the nation.
um...so why isn't this story in the new york times? it's not like the information isn't there to find!
instead of a journalist exposing voter fraud, we have a group of middle aged citizens bunkering in their cubicles finding out shit.
if bush wins, i'll reserve most of my blame to our sheep-like corporate media, who wouldn't know a legit story if it hit them in the balls.
um...so why isn't this story in the new york times? it's not like the information isn't there to find!
instead of a journalist exposing voter fraud, we have a group of middle aged citizens bunkering in their cubicles finding out shit.
if bush wins, i'll reserve most of my blame to our sheep-like corporate media, who wouldn't know a legit story if it hit them in the balls.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
my dad
just emailed me that he's voting for bush because of some bullshit video he saw on the rnc site about kerry flipflopping on iraq.
and it's past 6 at the office and i'm sitting here crying at my desk like a frustrated child.
fuck.
i hate bush.
and it's past 6 at the office and i'm sitting here crying at my desk like a frustrated child.
fuck.
i hate bush.
dr. demento
James Wolcott: Anger--a Treatable Disease?
"And therein lies the problem for even so empathetic an amateur shaman as myself: It's becoming more and more difficult to draw a clean distinction between Republican demagoguery and the onset of dementia."
love. him.
"And therein lies the problem for even so empathetic an amateur shaman as myself: It's becoming more and more difficult to draw a clean distinction between Republican demagoguery and the onset of dementia."
love. him.
an utterly vomit worthy article in yesterday's sun-times:
'Singles vote for Bush as their ideal date"
vomit vomit vomit.
apparently out of 2500 women polled by the equally vomitous It's Just Lunch dating service, 49% said they'd rather date the president, while only one-third would tip a cocktail with Kerry and a freakish fringe of 15% would snuggle up to Nader.
(they also thought jenna and barbara bush were more attractive than kerry's daughters.)
this only confirms that IJL is full of crazy dumb women.
'Singles vote for Bush as their ideal date"
vomit vomit vomit.
apparently out of 2500 women polled by the equally vomitous It's Just Lunch dating service, 49% said they'd rather date the president, while only one-third would tip a cocktail with Kerry and a freakish fringe of 15% would snuggle up to Nader.
(they also thought jenna and barbara bush were more attractive than kerry's daughters.)
this only confirms that IJL is full of crazy dumb women.
Monday, October 11, 2004
The ‘Regular Guy’.
Up until last Friday, conventional wisdom said that most folk liked Bush better than Kerry because Bush is a ‘regular guy.’ They liked that. They liked that they can have a beer with their president. They liked that they can eat some barbecue with their president. In contrast, Kerry filled them with unease. They wouldn’t be able to have a beer with John Kerry. John Kerry didn't look like he wanted to eat barbecue. John Kerry ‘summers’ when everyone else goes on vacation.
Well, I say, good for him! I like a good slab of ribs, but do I want to eat them with my President? Hell no! Do I want to have a beer with my President? Fuck off! I want to sit in a lecture hall on a quiet East coast campus and listen to my President wax wonkily on foreign policy then invite me to have a drink in one of the anterooms at the White House with his equally wonkish staff. That’s what I want. For me, the ‘regular guy’ can take his warm beer, his sagebrush, his fucked up Iraq policy and sit in that cul de sac he calls an administration.
Being a regular guy means you can’t be anything else while simultaneously being everything. It means you’re not a woman, you’re not a person of color (‘regular guy’ is totally code for ‘white’) and you’re pretty much nothing else. You’re definitely not gay. Just regular. Just guy. How… beige. It’s one size fits all. It’s the definition of the lowest common denominator, an identity without anything distinguishing it. It’s an ocean of mayonnaise, a plethora of mediocrity. A total flat line.
And ‘regular guy’ is so inelegant. If I had to put a pop culture reference on it, Regular Guy/Bush is like one of those dumpy shlubs on “Queer Eye.” Every week we wince when the Fab Five drags him out of his cave and we gasp at the stained unstylishness of his existence. For these men, those who can’t shave correctly, can’t seem to get out of the 80s, and fumble conversation to the point of incoherencies, Regular Guy is their anti-hero. He is a comedy of errors. When Regular Guy needs a scalpel, he uses a butter knife. When Regular Guy’s language should soar, he comes out with this dud:
But I don't recognize the body politic nowadays. It’s a great big hairy, sweaty, beer-guzzlin’, gun-totin’, Arab hatin’ bear daddy – lulled to sleep by the reassuring stroke of the Regular Guy. And in the morning the body politic looks into the mirror and sees the reflection of his own unshaven face and thinks “Good enough.”
So I say this to the Regular Guy: go away. Go back to your cave from which you crawled and stay there. You’ve lowered standards for everyone around you and now it’s time to go back to the bland, reactionary, mayonnaise world you live in. Your shambling mistakes have cost people lives and it’s time for you to take a Time Out. Learn how to form a sentence and hire a housekeeper, for god’s sake. Read a book or two. Visit the people you’ve killed. See what you’ve done. Realize you’ve made a mess and other people have to clean it up for you – again. Grow up. Learn some fucking responsibility. Get a job. Go to college. Move.
Well, I say, good for him! I like a good slab of ribs, but do I want to eat them with my President? Hell no! Do I want to have a beer with my President? Fuck off! I want to sit in a lecture hall on a quiet East coast campus and listen to my President wax wonkily on foreign policy then invite me to have a drink in one of the anterooms at the White House with his equally wonkish staff. That’s what I want. For me, the ‘regular guy’ can take his warm beer, his sagebrush, his fucked up Iraq policy and sit in that cul de sac he calls an administration.
Being a regular guy means you can’t be anything else while simultaneously being everything. It means you’re not a woman, you’re not a person of color (‘regular guy’ is totally code for ‘white’) and you’re pretty much nothing else. You’re definitely not gay. Just regular. Just guy. How… beige. It’s one size fits all. It’s the definition of the lowest common denominator, an identity without anything distinguishing it. It’s an ocean of mayonnaise, a plethora of mediocrity. A total flat line.
And ‘regular guy’ is so inelegant. If I had to put a pop culture reference on it, Regular Guy/Bush is like one of those dumpy shlubs on “Queer Eye.” Every week we wince when the Fab Five drags him out of his cave and we gasp at the stained unstylishness of his existence. For these men, those who can’t shave correctly, can’t seem to get out of the 80s, and fumble conversation to the point of incoherencies, Regular Guy is their anti-hero. He is a comedy of errors. When Regular Guy needs a scalpel, he uses a butter knife. When Regular Guy’s language should soar, he comes out with this dud:
“Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies againstWell, pardon me, but I’m tired of errors (not to mention homicidal hats that cause global terrorism.) I’m tired of action for action’s sake. That’s like asking me to settle for bad sex. I want finesse. I want knowledge. I want my President to know where the body politic’s erogenous zones are, dammit!
these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat."
-George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 17, 2004
But I don't recognize the body politic nowadays. It’s a great big hairy, sweaty, beer-guzzlin’, gun-totin’, Arab hatin’ bear daddy – lulled to sleep by the reassuring stroke of the Regular Guy. And in the morning the body politic looks into the mirror and sees the reflection of his own unshaven face and thinks “Good enough.”
So I say this to the Regular Guy: go away. Go back to your cave from which you crawled and stay there. You’ve lowered standards for everyone around you and now it’s time to go back to the bland, reactionary, mayonnaise world you live in. Your shambling mistakes have cost people lives and it’s time for you to take a Time Out. Learn how to form a sentence and hire a housekeeper, for god’s sake. Read a book or two. Visit the people you’ve killed. See what you’ve done. Realize you’ve made a mess and other people have to clean it up for you – again. Grow up. Learn some fucking responsibility. Get a job. Go to college. Move.
heh.
James Wolcott: Empty Volcano
i remember a letter i wrote to the NYT when the 2000 election was about to wrap up. i said that we get what we vote for and in this contest, the american citizen is like a drunk cheerleader about to get date raped in the back of a blue pick up truck under the bleachers by a snarling grinning fraternity boy called bush.
it's no wonder they didn't publish the letter. but it seems i'm not the only who sees the veneer of amicability about to slip.
i remember a letter i wrote to the NYT when the 2000 election was about to wrap up. i said that we get what we vote for and in this contest, the american citizen is like a drunk cheerleader about to get date raped in the back of a blue pick up truck under the bleachers by a snarling grinning fraternity boy called bush.
it's no wonder they didn't publish the letter. but it seems i'm not the only who sees the veneer of amicability about to slip.
over on ChurchGal, my religious alter-ego, an anonymous poster attempts to take me to task for liking my church separated from my state.
any rhetorical help would be great.
any rhetorical help would be great.
Saturday, October 09, 2004
i have forgotten what a totally fabulous movie 'tootsie' is.
...
we spent today rummaging around the lyric opera's warehouse, crawling aroung the dirty corners, bent into trunks, snatching up medea costumes, altar boy shirts, military jackets, hats, feathers, pantaloons, stockings, sweaters, shirts, and nighties. i watched a man dive into a pile of opera capes and tunics. he exclaimed, "I don't know how to wear it, but I'm taking it home!" his wife helped him figure out the draping.
it was the best afternoon of people watching ever. we are a city of actors, willing to brave dust mites for the sake of that fabulous miss havisham get up that will knock them dead at the rennaisance fair.
...
we spent today rummaging around the lyric opera's warehouse, crawling aroung the dirty corners, bent into trunks, snatching up medea costumes, altar boy shirts, military jackets, hats, feathers, pantaloons, stockings, sweaters, shirts, and nighties. i watched a man dive into a pile of opera capes and tunics. he exclaimed, "I don't know how to wear it, but I'm taking it home!" his wife helped him figure out the draping.
it was the best afternoon of people watching ever. we are a city of actors, willing to brave dust mites for the sake of that fabulous miss havisham get up that will knock them dead at the rennaisance fair.
Friday, October 08, 2004
one thing that was a little disturbing: bush's 'you can run but you can't hide' comment about women and abortions.
what?? using the same language you use to chase down terrorists to describe women who are making intimate decisions about their bodies?
fuck.
...
and now msnbc is interviewing two 'security moms' - why can't they interview people who are actually interesting?
what?? using the same language you use to chase down terrorists to describe women who are making intimate decisions about their bodies?
fuck.
...
and now msnbc is interviewing two 'security moms' - why can't they interview people who are actually interesting?
round two: kerry v. bush
- i hate chris matthews. he's so fucking inane.
- i'm sorry but the audience look like republicans to me...
- bush looks constipated. 'there's a lot of pressures'
- i wish kerry would answer the question right away.
- 'global test' blah blah blah.
- kerry looks very tan. and it's the consensus of all of us here that kerry has nice hands.
- kerry kind of blathers...
- A-- has a very good point. every president has held a summit. what leader doesn't try to bring countries together?
- 'bunker busting' - sounds dirty!!
- dude. just run over charlie gibson, why don't you? rude!
- what's that on ann's jacket? it looks like a tribble.
- kerry needs to talk about funding states to counter terrorism.
- the medicare 'reform' is actually hurting seniors, though...
- A-- just called the preznit a 'fuckhead'
- how shrub can say that jobs are growing
- he wants to expand the wetlands by 3 million...what?
- it's the mistake question!
when is generation x going to step up and take over?? these gray hairs are killing me. overall bush was better than he was last time but he was also wrong - about jobs, healthcare, war and the environment. kerry could have been more focused.
Again, it's all about the polls after the debate
Daily Kos :: Political Analysis and other daily rants on the state of the nation.
hit 'em hard and hit 'em often.
let's hope kerry can stomp shrub into sourgrape mash this time around, too.
hit 'em hard and hit 'em often.
let's hope kerry can stomp shrub into sourgrape mash this time around, too.
Last night I embarked on my Road to Intimacy with my life coach (a concept that fills my father with derision.) Lately I’ve realized that if I don’t want to end up weird and alone, I better start getting close to someone who is willing to open a can of soup for me when I’m 80. (And isn’t wearing a nurse’s uniform.) Unfortunately, that can’t happen if, whenever someone says “Hey, I like you a lot” I get the shakes and change the subject and/or stare at them blankly until an uncomfortable silence spreads like an oil slick over white linoleum.
Looking like someone’s Scandinavian aunt, the Coach asked "So what makes you think you have problems with intimacy?"
I thought for a bit. “It. Freaks. Me. Out. I shut down. I cannot share, I don’t want to share, it means you’re needy. I don’t know how to do it. People keep talking about it and I have no freaking idea what they mean. Freaks. Me. Out.”
And it went downhill from there with me becoming a bit more incoherent – at one point even saying that being in a relationship is like being laid off. “You are in control of nothing. Someone else evaluates you and then you’re fired! But you don’t know what’s in your file! How do you know what’s going on??” I said.
Coach Carolyn smiled. “Have you tried talking to the person you’re with?”
Lady, if things were that simple, then I wouldn’t be having this issue. “No way! What if they say something I don’t want to hear? Like, you’re fired!” So clearly I have communication issues, too.
So she switched tactics and asked “What are you looking for? What is the context for this intimacy?”
I thought about it. “Well, I want something more than mere entertainment….and something less serious than marriage.”
Then she laughed until tears came into her eyes and put a * next to my comment in her notes.
What’s so funny? I’m totally serious.
Looking like someone’s Scandinavian aunt, the Coach asked "So what makes you think you have problems with intimacy?"
I thought for a bit. “It. Freaks. Me. Out. I shut down. I cannot share, I don’t want to share, it means you’re needy. I don’t know how to do it. People keep talking about it and I have no freaking idea what they mean. Freaks. Me. Out.”
And it went downhill from there with me becoming a bit more incoherent – at one point even saying that being in a relationship is like being laid off. “You are in control of nothing. Someone else evaluates you and then you’re fired! But you don’t know what’s in your file! How do you know what’s going on??” I said.
Coach Carolyn smiled. “Have you tried talking to the person you’re with?”
Lady, if things were that simple, then I wouldn’t be having this issue. “No way! What if they say something I don’t want to hear? Like, you’re fired!” So clearly I have communication issues, too.
So she switched tactics and asked “What are you looking for? What is the context for this intimacy?”
I thought about it. “Well, I want something more than mere entertainment….and something less serious than marriage.”
Then she laughed until tears came into her eyes and put a * next to my comment in her notes.
What’s so funny? I’m totally serious.
A-- and i are throwing an election party next month. so far, all is going well. we've already had one request by someone who can't make it to "brutally sodomize a republican." oh, mike, darling. we will, don't you worry.
today i'm dressed like a p.e. teacher. i HAVE to go shopping. or wake up earlier.
today i'm dressed like a p.e. teacher. i HAVE to go shopping. or wake up earlier.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Wouldn’t it be nice if the president of the Senate actually presided over more than three sessions?
It’s sad that journalists and pundits can’t seem to do basic fact-checking the way an ordinary citizen can. How about, instead of allowing a public figure to lie, you actually tell the truth: Dick Cheney presided over Senate sessions three times in the four years he’s been Vice President. And how about pointing out that Edwards actually presided over the Senate seven?
The wonderful thing about the public record is that it’s PUBLIC (http://www.gpoaccess.gov/crecord/index.html). And, dude, if The Daily Show can get to it, then why can't our media?? What a joke.
The point isn’t a prayer breakfast. It is yet one more piece of evidence that this administration just can’t seem to tell the truth about any matter, large (Iraq) or small (truancy.)
It’s sad that journalists and pundits can’t seem to do basic fact-checking the way an ordinary citizen can. How about, instead of allowing a public figure to lie, you actually tell the truth: Dick Cheney presided over Senate sessions three times in the four years he’s been Vice President. And how about pointing out that Edwards actually presided over the Senate seven?
The wonderful thing about the public record is that it’s PUBLIC (http://www.gpoaccess.gov/crecord/index.html). And, dude, if The Daily Show can get to it, then why can't our media?? What a joke.
The point isn’t a prayer breakfast. It is yet one more piece of evidence that this administration just can’t seem to tell the truth about any matter, large (Iraq) or small (truancy.)
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
my old guy boyfriend
James Wolcott
next to jon stewart i think james wolcott is my next new boyfriend. he's sharp and more bitchy than a queen at a circuit party.
target: chris matthews: "Matthews, hopped up on Cheetos and Nehi orange, crowned Cheney the victor in the debate..." heh.
target: dennis miller: "[his] soul has sprouted tumors...Miller not only sounds like Michael Savage, he's beginning to look like him, too, an oily stain possessing the power of speech."
dang.
next to jon stewart i think james wolcott is my next new boyfriend. he's sharp and more bitchy than a queen at a circuit party.
target: chris matthews: "Matthews, hopped up on Cheetos and Nehi orange, crowned Cheney the victor in the debate..." heh.
target: dennis miller: "[his] soul has sprouted tumors...Miller not only sounds like Michael Savage, he's beginning to look like him, too, an oily stain possessing the power of speech."
dang.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
and so it begins...
god, 90 minutes of this...
instead of a stupid debate like this, i wish they had to do something like the subject test for the GRE - two hour multiple choice test on domestic and foreign policy and then two essay questions.
then we'd see who the real man was. huh!
instead of a stupid debate like this, i wish they had to do something like the subject test for the GRE - two hour multiple choice test on domestic and foreign policy and then two essay questions.
then we'd see who the real man was. huh!
edwards v. cheney
if the universe was just, cheney would ignite and explode into a million bad-tempered chunks. but since it isn't i can only cross my fingers and hope edwards doesn't fall down in a faint, stammer, stumble, or stagger into a giant stanky cheney trap. (and we all know what the cheney trap smells like: stale spit, old whiskey, toothpaste, sweat and halitosis.)
now look what i've done. totally skeeved myself out.
now look what i've done. totally skeeved myself out.
diaprax
word to the wise:
tearing down the paranoiac ravings of a christian fundamentalist who has it in for hegel is not a good way to spend the work day. especially when there's work to do.
but, for fun, go here and see what he has to say about the evils of consensus building.
sigh. my dad knows weird people.
tearing down the paranoiac ravings of a christian fundamentalist who has it in for hegel is not a good way to spend the work day. especially when there's work to do.
but, for fun, go here and see what he has to say about the evils of consensus building.
sigh. my dad knows weird people.
Pre debate prep for post debate spin!!
Daily Kos :: Political Analysis and other daily rants on the state of the nation.
this is a list of swing state media outlets/papers the bush campaign wants to flood with letters and emails - truly extensive list!
wouldn't it be great if kerry supporters got there first??
(happy birthday james and lee!!)
this is a list of swing state media outlets/papers the bush campaign wants to flood with letters and emails - truly extensive list!
wouldn't it be great if kerry supporters got there first??
(happy birthday james and lee!!)
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