an interesting thing just happened in the office; a coworker and i just spent 20 minutes trying to figure out how to address a letter to a pair of women who may/may not be domestic partners. their donation was a tribute to someone else, so we could assume they are sisters. but they could also be domestic partners.
should our formal letter of acknowledgment say Dear Ms. Cathy Stone and Ms. Emily Stone?
or should it be Dear Cathy and Emily?
or should it be Dear Mesdames Stone? (Miss Manners recommends this approach.)
or should we send two separate letters that just say, each, Dear Ms. Stone?
it's a puzzlement and we are both waiting for Emily Post to get back to us.
3 comments:
The easy way out is to use their first names, no? You could also try Googling them up to see if you can't nose around in their private business and figure out the relationship.
In any case (whether married or not), given the current ancient state of laws (not recognizing marriage), they are going to have to file separate income tax returns, and, since that is a primary use of such a letter, I would send a letter to each, acknowledging their gift (along the lines of 'thank you for your joint gift, with Ms (other woman) Stone in the amount of $_____. We have also written Ms (other woman) Stone under separate cover to thank her.).
This should, of course, in no way be construed as legal advice, rather it just seems practical.
yes, that seems practical, too. i didn't think about the end of year tax thing, either.
of course, a friend of mine said to go with with the 'mesdames' salutation. she said, 'that's what etiquette is for. it gives you a safe cover, no matter the situation.' even though it's old fashioned as hell.
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