inevitably, ding's thoughts turn to valentine's day.
i can't avoid it; the crap is everywhere. and it probably doesn't help that i saw that new movie, 'something new.' (l.a. looks great in it and, dammit, it made me wish i was a buppie living in baldwin hills with a hot landscaper.)
anyway, v-day's arrival makes me think that if i had continued to swallow my resentment toward B- and our oddly non-communicative relationship, i might have had something to do on valentine's day.
hm. Making An Effort, so far, is rather lonesome business.
[thanks to roomie for the white castle link]
superbowl update: they just taped up some guy's groin.
relationship self-pity always occurs when i go to the movies and watch a rom-com. they make me feel like if only *i* had done something different with any of the boys in the past, then i'd have a partner now. maybe, maybe not. clearly, my thing with B- was a disaster on both our parts. and i mean, ok, with The Librarian - perhaps if i'd been...actually, i have no idea what happened there. i think he was eaten by a moose.
superbowl update: steelers touchdown is total bullshit. the ball clearly didn't make it over the line.
i go back to my father and his sandwich analogy. 'ding,' he'd say. 'you need to know how to make a man a sandwich.' but i honestly don't know what that means. i know what it *means* politically but i have no idea what that looks like. there are no nurturing women in my family. my father was never catered to. he was never coddled. my poor father was outnumbered in a house full of women who pretty much got our way when it counted.
superbowl update: this is a fast game. first half is over and while seattle started out promising, the steelers are up. wtf?? hang in there, seattle. the ball didn't cross the line!
so if i've never had a model of good relationship handling, then how the hell am i supposed to navigate these fucked up waters?
superbowl update: the stones!! dude. they're my dad's age. in spandex.
what's the bottom line of all this rambling?
valentine's day can kiss my ass.
superbowl update: fuck. steelers just got a 75-yard TD. seattle is screwed.
7 comments:
Yeah, I'm ticked that Seattle's not gonna win this game, too.
Fuck this "if I'd only continued to swallow my resentment." Yes! Ding! If you would only put up with being treated like crap, you'd have TONS of men clamoring to date you!
Screw that. Hold out for someone who's such a sweetheart you *want* to fix him a sandwich.
i don't know why i'm so hung up on this! like, now it's some fucking puzzle with me.
i know it's good not be treated like crap, and honestly, i don't stand for it for that long (i'm just slow on the uptake that it's crap.)
i just keep turning all my past relationships around in my head. like, hm, i should have been more this with that one or more like that with so-and-so, and i definitely should have lost weight for whosits.
it's all just bullshit neurosis. who knew i was this neurotis?? grr.
neurotic.
(sigh)
Ding! I confess, I only read the yellow.
But honestly, why do we celebrate this obscure catholic saint's day in ways that have NOTHING to do with the man?
It's a scam. And we celebrate it because we are suckers. Chumps.
Valentine's Day is such a scam.
Yes! You should have lost weight for some guy!
Woman, what are you thinking?!? Do I need to come put some sense in your head?
i think i need a holiday. just a few days off to relax and sleep for a very long time. work is clearly turning me into carrie bradshaw - but without all the shoes, fashion, cosmos and sex.
Let's go to someplace warm and beach-like together, okay?
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