thinking about shani davis. he's the first black guy to win an individual gold in the winter olympics - EVER - and he can't seem to get a break. i was reading an article yesterday that seemed to say that his reaction to winning is bizarre. but it's not, really.
I had to explain this to my roomie once. She comes from a midwestern family that celebrates everything in a really big way- holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, promotions, this and that. It's great - they're a wonderfully loving and generous family. Sometimes she doesn't understand me and my family's more...low key way of doing things.
For instance, when I had that article published. I knew my family was happy for me - but my dad just sent an email that said, "Proud of you, girl." When I took a risk to change jobs and do something I really really wanted and it actually worked out, my sister simply said, "I knew you could do it." It was the same when I graduated college, went to grad school, finished my degree, moved to Chicago - my family just said, "We're proud of you. We knew you could do it."
And so I understand Shani Davis and his mother. They're a family who've had to work extra hard to get where they are. And for them, as it was for me and my family, the work never stops. It's hard to let go of that work, to relax, and say, "Ok, I can take a breath now. I can take a break now." There's never a break. Not when you're the first. There's a whole lot of black folk looking at you, smiling in pride, but that's a heavy burden - the First. There's a whole lot of white people looking at you - watching you. They may or may not be waiting for you to crack, but let's just assume the worst (there are no surprises when you think of the worst). Someone wants you to fail. You're the First, so if you screw up, you screw up big.
And so you work even harder - because who cares if people like/don't like you? Being a success trumps that.
So I wrote the reporter and told her all this. I said, Please understand; what you trivialize by calling a 'mood swing' is a way we black people have for dealing with and preparing for success. Allow Davis to process this huge moment, this culmination of all his hard work, in his own way. And also understand how condescending and problematic it is for the press (the - ahem - white press) to say to a black man, "Now show me how happy you are!" In my community, we call that minstrelsy and we don't do that anymore.
[sister gal even wrote me back and said thanks for giving her a perspective she'd never had before. she even said mine was the best letter she had about the subject. yay for me - i get a gold star for race relations. a bridge was built. that's my good deed for Black History Month.]
15 comments:
I like that Stark seemed to move immediately to "angry black man" since he didn't fit into the stereotype of "happy gold medal winner".
It makes me wonder what kind of ignorance it was, was that her inability to be able to understand the idea that he (or anybody) may be a complex, real person capable of feelings that don't fit inside sound-bytes, or perhaps something worse, the feeling that the only way to communicate to her audience is to simplify to the point of obscuring the truth - if so, is that just lazyness?
Thoughts?
judging from the reporter's email to me, i honestly don't think she's ever had to think about this before. all she saw was the easy narrative: team friction, angry young black man with a possible chip on his shoulder, white teammate equally chip-laden. it's an easy sell.
she never saw this event from his point of view; she never interpreted the event beyond the sports angle. and to see it from that angle - this is a story of black success in a way that goes beyond sport - is too complicated. you can't tell a story about the conflict one feels when you're the black First in one column.
and it's the ignorance of privilege that makes a reporter deaf to nuances. first of all, not knowing what it feels like to be told you have to act happy? and you have to act happy to make other people happy?? please. it's the blindness of privilege - privilege means you never have to see how something as small as that is going to resound with a person of color.
but, apparently, over 100 black folk in chicago wrote to her telling her what's what.
meanwhile, athletes with more acceptable reactions are going on tv and saying stupid stupid stuff.
I've waited days for Bode Miller to say something smart; he finally did--it was about how American sports has become matter of win-it or quit-it, which has discouraged participation in sports among kids.
That was the smartest thing I heard him say, and I'll give him credit, but I also have to say there where hours of bla bla bla... the sound I make when I blow my nose was more intellectually stimulating.
What annoyed me most about that interview was the interviewers look at the camera after Davis responded to her question about being angry. She didn't exactly roll her eyes, but she might as well have. I found it downright unprofessional and demeaning.
I found myself anxious during the interview as I was frustrated with her, but I also kept wishing Davis would rally himself just a little bit to respond in the way the media expected him to. Even though it's not right, I knew his response would confirm people's stereotypes about black men, and given the controversy, I wanted him to not give them any ammunition. I'm not happy with myself that I thought that, but I worried a lot about how he would be perceived.
Proud of you, girl...
Its fairly obvious that Davis wanted to act intentionally rude with that blank cold stare and curt answers to get back at perceived slights by NBC for playing up the whole angle regarding the controversy about not participating in the team pursuit. In fact, someone pointed out he smiled and laughed about it immediately after that rude interview knowing what he did!
But if Davis thought he got one on NBC with his childish, unprofessional behavior, then I'm afraid he was mistaken. Whether or not NBC treated him fairly, his unprofessional behavior at that moment made HIM look bad not NBC.
After that interview, he did give two more one-on-one interviews with NBC where he behaved much more professionally but his childish prank on Saturday certainly didn't gain him anything.
is it 'fairly obvious'? really?
(why can i always depend on the random Anonymous commenters to be so condescending?)
anyway, the point of this discussion isn't Shani's curtness or whether he tried to make NBC upset. it's the media's reaction to it that's the interesting POINT OF THIS DISCUSSION.
in my mind, it was Stark's 'is that it?' response that put my back up. yeah, that's it. he said he's happy. now leave him alone. her 'you sure do look happy' to davis' mother was uncalled for AND it was unprofessional.
to act professionally is to act appropriately within the parameters of one's job. davis acted well within the parameters of his job; he won.
stark? she didn't like the response she got so she threw a cheap shot at the gold medal winner and his mom. not professional.
well stated. And I'm glad it was well received. At least she reviewed your points somewhat objectively and didn't get defensive. Perhaps now she'll take that dynamic into account.
You make an interesting point about our tendency to celebrate without much pomp. My family has always been this way. No one even came to my grad graduation, and for undergrad, only my mother showed up. But I always know how proud they are. I didn't think of this as a cultural tendency, though, until you expressed it as such. You're right, though. Food for thought...
I'm home from work early today, and Oprah is moving Katrina survivors into her Angel Lane neighborhood in Houston, paid for with Oprah's $10M, the $10M matched by Oprah's viewers, and coroporate donations, not to mention Habitat Humanity and the sweat equity of the neighbors themselves.
All the families were black, and none of them squeeled or jumped with excitement when Oprah (or Nate or Gail) revealed a room to them. Their exclamations were mute compared to white make-over winners; families were grateful, tearfull sometimes, sometimes even surprised, but nobody was gushy gushy.
In fact, the only time she was able to get a 'squee' type reaciton from people was later in the program, when she surprised people by saying that they would be the next to recieve houses.
This seems to support the idea that there are cultural differences in reacting to 'winning' situations.
At some point, we have got to stop being so shocked about cultural differences.
Bell Hooks talks about this phenomenon in her book Sisters of the Yam. The whole, expect the worst even when you're expecting the best, being the way that we Black folks brace for the onslaught of more oppression that always comes. There's just no relaxing for us at the end of any day.
Very good article about this in the trib today linking it to stereotypes of black masculinity.
Why anon- commenter's, comment-
Because we want you to think about what you saying more. Yes, maybe you and your family are different from the way you handle success. I doubt it- I have read both your blogs.
Okay, You're special. You went to grad school, Wow!!! Good job!! Whoo Hoo! Others may agree with "YOU" about your opinons about being black, me..well,keep reading.
Some of us can see through things that you sometimes, and I mean sometimes, miss.
Men do not repond the same way as women. Simple as that. He wasn't feeling it, You know the "first" black thing. Allow me to explain this. Some black people feel proud that they went to college and grad school because it makes them LOOK good in the eyes of society. Others are just damn glad they finish something, now they're able to live a decent life, much better then what they came from. Others are not that happy because they know they will be paying for their college education for a long time. Which means less money in their pockets, was it worth all this? "I finish something so what's the big deal anyway." I paid for it. Others would say to that,
"But your African American, don't you get it"? Know I don't.
Shani, didn't want to make it a race thing. Simple as that! He won because he put in the effort and hard work to win. His color should not make it a media bliss. Report it and move on. Rather its being the first black to go to college and graduate or the first black this or that. Does it really matter? Color has nothing to do with effort, or does it?
Faking humble pie is not good, either!
you're right - not all of us respond to things the same way. MY POINT was that this one cultural difference was read in a totally bizarre way by the media. the POINT is the media's response.
and, two, you know - i'll try to ignore your wasted sarcasm about my background. get over it.
shrinky - i'll have to take a look at it. thanks for the heads up!
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