tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459857.post5311479103044348459..comments2023-10-26T05:43:54.865-05:00Comments on Screed: this american marriageDelia Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433503510087047283noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459857.post-14813819159209138612010-02-03T08:25:29.962-06:002010-02-03T08:25:29.962-06:00I just wanted to thank everyone for sharing what t...I just wanted to thank everyone for sharing what they could about their own relationships. Gracious, think of the hours of marriage/couples counseling saved if everyone could be as articulate and thoughtful saying similar things about their partnerships with their partners!<br /><br />I know that I'll always be leery of Marriage. It's probably not going to be a plot point in the Delia Christinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00433503510087047283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459857.post-68207974185653061882010-02-02T18:33:43.072-06:002010-02-02T18:33:43.072-06:00This may be the single most interesting blog post ...This may be the single most interesting blog post I've ever read. I wanted to go get a bag of chips and eat it while reading. Good God you're awesome.Leenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459857.post-579613071280805692010-01-26T13:47:36.256-06:002010-01-26T13:47:36.256-06:00BTW I just had another thought. If those fairy-ta...BTW I just had another thought. If those fairy-tale instead of ending with "happily ever-after" ended with " They lived in a state of constant work on forgiveness and emotional growth" Nobody would fucking get married...who the hell wants to constantly work!No Nonsensehttp://www.myopenletters.typepad.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459857.post-13569268512823625962010-01-26T13:44:10.990-06:002010-01-26T13:44:10.990-06:00I'm baack! Took me a while:-0
We have been br...I'm baack! Took me a while:-0<br /><br />We have been brained-washed into thinking of marriage as a "perfect" institution(I swear to god it all those god-damn fairy tale garbage we read as kid that has warped our minds.) The fact is, its relative. What works for me may not work for someone else and we simple need to acknowledge and accept it not judge. We also seem to project our No Nonsensehttp://www.myopenletters.typepad.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459857.post-19171402549230713752010-01-26T11:55:33.203-06:002010-01-26T11:55:33.203-06:00I wonder if anyone is truly our candy coated versi...I wonder if anyone is truly our candy coated version of happy. I can't say my own life is. It's stressful and full of drama. But overall, I think I'm satisfied.<br /><br />We've discussed on twitter how I married as young as your sister.<br /><br />I've not had the perfect marriage though. My husband is bipolar; most of our friends were betting it wouldn't last. There haveNavihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04580741811662935801noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459857.post-67195706712714894662010-01-26T10:18:41.626-06:002010-01-26T10:18:41.626-06:00Humbly I say this to you, this does not mean that ...Humbly I say this to you, this does not mean that you will have a bad marriage, this does not mean that your relationship will end up like theirs. This means that you have been free to make better choices and decisions about your life. We learn from the mistakes of others. Live truthfully, live honestly, and face the ugliness about YOU and deal with it. <br /><br />Marriage is not overrated, Hopefulnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459857.post-5737810127077966642010-01-25T11:27:48.686-06:002010-01-25T11:27:48.686-06:00Oh, and if anyone would be interested in giving me...Oh, and if anyone would be interested in giving me some coaching about getting together a book, let me know.<br /><br />I'm clueless!Delia Christinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00433503510087047283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459857.post-50630781112126798232010-01-25T11:26:59.480-06:002010-01-25T11:26:59.480-06:001. Yeah, I'm coming closer to that book idea. ...1. Yeah, I'm coming closer to that book idea. If everyone and their mother can write a family dysfunctional memoir, why can't I??<br /><br />2. Marriage. What strikes me is how the institution (sometimes/often) forces folks to disregard the fact (because it is a fact) that there is more than one way of doing it. My family is a prime example of binary thinking: there's Bad Marriage Delia Christinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00433503510087047283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459857.post-83138260007715272422010-01-24T19:01:19.031-06:002010-01-24T19:01:19.031-06:003rd the comment on marriage: unless both persons i...3rd the comment on marriage: unless <i>both</i> persons in a marriage are willing to open themselves up totally, risk getting hurt or hurting the others feelings from time-to-time and genuinely trusting each other, the marriage has a greater likelihood of failing (what I learned the first time around).<br /><br />For the most part, I am anti-marriage myself for the very reasons you have describedthenutfantastichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01049788927734789585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459857.post-58417011233122206782010-01-23T21:45:36.769-06:002010-01-23T21:45:36.769-06:00It's so hard being the confidante, the confess...It's so hard being the confidante, the confessor. I'm sorry about all the pain; family is hard. Intimacy, like others here have said, is really hard. Being that close and maintaining your boundaries, ay. <br /><br />Have to laugh about your dad's hilarious malapropism though.lizahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16130872448723729911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459857.post-62087756566598012212010-01-23T14:49:50.976-06:002010-01-23T14:49:50.976-06:00On marriage, I echo bitch. Making it work, having ...On marriage, I echo bitch. Making it work, having a relationship that opens people rather than limiting them, requires a strange combination of risking and trusting. It's not what it was: a secure social institution intended to establish and maintain boundaries (and I use that word with it's property implications). Can it be a crucible for psycho-spiritual development? Yes, but we rarely Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08235049965406944684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459857.post-56839329848202877402010-01-23T11:01:44.578-06:002010-01-23T11:01:44.578-06:00Jesus fu@#ing Christ Ding "All in one post!&q...Jesus fu@#ing Christ Ding "All in one post!" I mean.. I'm speechless... Let me digest this and return.<br /><br />Guuurl WhoaNo Nonsensehttp://www.myopenletters.typepad.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459857.post-21261662538162594922010-01-23T00:43:13.357-06:002010-01-23T00:43:13.357-06:00And now you're sharing it with us.
I'm ...And now you're sharing it with us. <br /><br />I'm so sorry for all the pain in our family, ding, and as the story develops I for one am hoping for joy and redemption. <br /><br />And I feel bad for saying this, but this situation could not have fallen upon a more gifted writer.jp 吉平https://www.blogger.com/profile/15198270192000552582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459857.post-20444998654610311962010-01-23T00:00:19.363-06:002010-01-23T00:00:19.363-06:00Speechless. While we wait for your book, can you p...Speechless. While we wait for your book, can you position this piece in an anthology, the Atlantic, *something*?SiddityintheCityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08375591249598881771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459857.post-83810557757799591452010-01-22T22:20:48.919-06:002010-01-22T22:20:48.919-06:00Deep, deep stuff. Whoa. And wow—incredibly well-wr...Deep, deep stuff. Whoa. And wow—incredibly well-written and thoughtful.<br /><br />Copy and paste into the Word file where you're assembling your book, m'kay?<br /><br />Friend of mine's dad came out when his daughters were in their teens. Acrimonious marriage, but in recent years, 20 years post-divorce? He's the #1 helper for his ex-wife. She's disabled now and he was the oneOrangehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12433254398377357737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459857.post-61566731481027096082010-01-22T19:35:06.747-06:002010-01-22T19:35:06.747-06:00Yes, you so need to write a book. Great postYes, you so need to write a book. Great postAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459857.post-12244877662477673032010-01-22T18:49:07.000-06:002010-01-22T18:49:07.000-06:001. YOU NEED TO WRITE A BOOK. I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING...1. YOU NEED TO WRITE A BOOK. I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING. <br /><br />2. My current working theory about why marriage does that is twofold. First, secrets/fear--everyone has them. We all develo coping mehanisms, blah blah, and the main reason stuff like this seems shocking is that ppl keep it secret, so it's all recursive and shit. The second part is the marriage thing, and I don't think it&#bitchphdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15118578280520171800noreply@blogger.com