Friday, December 31, 2004

AHAHAHAHAHA!!!

The New York Times > New York Region > Tough Guys, Shapely Eyebrows

His girlfriend, Margie Sola, had other ideas on the matter. She thought he looked like the love child of Albert Einstein and Bert from "Sesame Street." "His face was a big mess," she said.

snort.
countess von aryan needs a bitch slap.

Thursday, December 30, 2004

declaration of independence

when do we 30-somethings ever get the right to blow off our parental units and just spend the holidays the way we want?

green fairy asks the same question over on her space; bookslut makes faint mention of her holidays being a 'complete failure'; my friend R-- expressed jealousy at my stay at home christmas. almost every single one of my friends who visited family clocked at least 6 hours travel time and perhaps 2 hours of pure happiness over the weekend.

it's time for the hegemony of the holiday family visit to end.

let's declare our independence and be honest: these visits blow. they're stressful and if your family has turned your old room into dad's new office, then you're also out of a bed. if you're single, you don't really want to hang out with all the children and if you're married, you really don't want to hang out with all the children. the dear parents try to recreate a holiday that somehow existed back when you were eight, which only makes you sad; your siblings have moved to the next level of married/homeowner life (or not) and that's sad, too. no one's youthful anymore, the forced cheer is depressing and the over-scheduling of your days like you're a five year old on a play date is turning you into, well, a sullen teenager.

and sex? forget it. the holidays are the sexiest time of year and how do we choose to spend it? sleeping on an air mattress in the family room. what's sexy about that??

after your third temper tantrum over which bottle of wine to have with dinner you realize that the holidays have stripped you of of the identity you've carefully and deliberately constructed ever since you moved away from home. within hours you're no longer the snarky urban gadabout; you're 15 , misunderstood, there's no good music on the radio, you have no friends and you can't wait to get the hell out of town and move to the big city. (or, in my case, move out of the big city and move to another big city - just one that's 2000 miles away.)

it doesn't feel like a holiday. it feels like you've been grounded. it doesn't feel like a relaxing break from your busy life. it feels like a punishing squeeze into someone else's busy life. so let's be honest. we don't want to see our families over the holidays unless some things change. below are my demands, er - suggestions:

- visit me once in a while (hotels are plentiful!)
- what says holiday cheer more than a cocktail? beer, wine, champagne or eggnog, i don't care. but a little grog goes a long way to smooth out the rough edges.
- where's the fun? i don't want to run errands. i want to go to movies, go shopping, eat out, drink in, and sleep late. why doesn't everyone want that?
- get a babysitter.

if we start applying pressure on our families now, come next november, we should have the holidays of our dreams.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

tsunami relief: some ways to help

my alter ego, ChurchGal, has a list of ways to donate money to help with the tsunami disaster.

if you can, check it out and give a little.
they really need it.

chit chat

sigh. they suck.

so, riding the wave of general pissed-offness from yesterday's post about the dnc giving women the finger, i surfed on over to the dnc's official blog. not only do they not mention the fact they're contemplating a position shift on abortion (and if anyone can point me to a place where they own up to that shit, i'll be suitably chastised) their open thread is full of bullshit meanderings about nature, moles, baby boomers and...that's about it.

aargh. this is our party: idle chit chat.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

sell outs: Democratic Leadership Rethinking Abortion

Democratic Leadership Rethinking Abortion

fucking hell. i hate being right.

on a ndn chatboard, i screeded that the dnc would sell out brown people, women and gays - all for the sheeny shine of winning. (and remember that earlier post musing which of our progressive principles we should dump?) our party is so pathologically soulless, we are going to go soft on reproductive rights for women so we can turn some fucking red states blue.

you know what people on my side of the tracks call that shit?

we call it shit.

and what progressive has EVER advocated for late term abortion on demand?? jeebus.

what else are we going to go soft on, people? what else are we going to take a dive on? what else are we going to compromise for the allure of winning? do i want to win? yes! i want to kick republican ass all over the place. but we win with our values and with actions that support those values. by going soft on abortion, we lose everything.

so so so pissed angry.

hmm...let's see. which constituents has the dnc screwed...?
brown people, check.
women, check.

who's next?

[update: here's where to go to give the dnc some feedback.]
why all the stuff is all the way down at the bottom of my sidebar, i don't know.
i swear i didn't touch anything.

[nevermind. i fixed it.]
James Wolcott: Artificial Snowflakes Can Say So Much

A-- and i were totally late to a party because we watched 'white christmas' all the way to the end. and vera-ellen's legs? totally a gross out. when she's doing that tap number in that little yellow bloomer/dress thing? yikes, you can see her connective tissues.

ick.

christmas in my belly

i won't bore you with copious details of this past christmas (especially after boring you with the details of past ones) but this was one of the best holidays ever. and, unfortunately, i owed the fabulosity to the fact i stayed home in chicago.

no travel, no going back to los angeles, no fussing with the kiddies, no kitting out on my dad's couch (grr). i was child-free, sunshine free, traffic free and it was marvelous. A--'s mother taught us how to play mah-jong (my own asian mother would have been proud), we cooked a wonderful beef burgundy, ate cheese, drank copious amounts of champagne, had a decadent christmas morning brunch at home with a leek tart and mimosas, exchanged girly creams, emollients, lotions and candles, drank wine, listened to great music, saw good theater (hurray for gospel music), dined in a fantastic french restaurant and sang carols at 4th pres at midnight (though the dixieland 'go tell it on the mountain' for the recession was a bit much, i thought.)

the air here was bitter, like a woman left at the altar a few too many times. but the sun was bright and on christmas eve i finished shopping for my roommate and met BC for lunch, humming with satisfaction. while waiting for him at la scarola, a tiny italian joint on grand ave with some of the best food i've ever had, i slowly sipped a glass of chianti and read billy collins' new collection of poetry. BC arrived, bearing a thrift store wrapped present: a scene from shakespeare's King John mounted on a little prayer book, behind glass. i thought it was sweet, A-- thought it was hilarious and strange. ('it's so not you,' she said.)

but anyway, it was a great weekend. i hope everyone had as good a one. (even M--, far away in a strange place. happy new year, sweetie.)

Delicious Biting

my friend, julie's blog.

it's about food, the surreality of living in l.a. and just about everything in between.
i already love it and her photos rock.

like me, she chucked the academic life (she literally threw her dissertation into the seine) and her wry, dry, acerbic words do more to make me feel at home than most anything.
i hope you enjoy her.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

therapy

Scared of Santa photo gallery

thanks to growing up in a baptist household, i never suffered through this ritual of sitting on some old guy's lap and whispering in his ear.

apparently, it's scarring.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

the day is dark and cold and i want to run the clock backwards, back to the time i was curled in my dark soft lumpy bed and everything was perfect. we're lurching toward another holiday and i admit to feeling decidedly un-christmas-like (bill o'reilly and his campaign to save christmas can kiss my ass.)

we have lost the war in the middle east, our soldiers are fodder for missiles and bombs; our president still has the ability to rouse hatred and vomiting in at least half the populace (oh, for a freakish cosmic accident that will show our POTUS bursting into flame as he touches the bible during his inauguration, the first recorded human combustible); every conversation i have with a conservative brings up bile and contempt and if i am ever to exercise control over my temper i will have to shun them - or resign myself to immediate ad hominem attacks and call them vile, deceitful cramps who would rather lick the brown boot of karl rove than help their fellow man.

and where is my side of political spectrum? (crickets, crickets)

there is much to celebrate - life, family, friends, liberty and straight teeth. but there is all that stuff above. there is the new boy, who haltingly told me the story of his divorce last night while we sat in a red and green lit tiki room in river grove; below the muted giggling and chatter around us, he spread his hands and shrugged and said all he ever wanted was to be loved and isn't that what this life is about? and i could only nod and crunch another pretzel.

there is the story of the woman and the carved out baby, but there is also the mini-skirted octogenarian woman in a river grove bowling alley who walked her ball down the lane, dropped it with a thud and watched as it rolled, as if by a magnet, to a strike; then she'd turn, shuffle back to her table and flick a smile at her equally shriveled husband who just watched her roll strike after strike after strike. it could have been sad but it looked sweet to me.

there's doesn't seem to be time for reflection this time of year, although i suppose that's what it's for - to slow us down and make us see the world a little differently, as a thing worth saving, inhabited by tiny lonely people shuffling to...something.

but, in the abridged words of my roommate, why does everyone have to suck so much?

so it's slow at the office...

NPR : Making Sperm, No Men Necessary

i'm sending this article to my dad just to see how bad he'll freak out.

Girl in the Locker Room!

Girl in the Locker Room!

she was one of the first women sports reporters allowed in the locker room, back in the day. i like her blog - it's like reading the letters from someone's cool, ballsy mom.

what did they think would happen?

The New York Times > AP > International > Company Admits Indonesia Mercury Release

did they think the mercury would just magically disappear??
idiots.

get over it

The New York Times > Health > Vital Signs: Behavior: Sweaty Palms at the Pharmacy

are these young men and women also sheepish when they have to buy tampons? we have raised a generation of sexually active morons.

i fear for the future.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

3.09 pm

accomplished as of this moment:

1. labeled a stack of red files. (abandoned red files almost immediately.)
2. stuffed, licked and metered Madame's stack of corporate holiday cards.
3. ate one teeny bag of cheetos.
4. smoked one cigarette.
5. rearranged bra (wearing an ill-advised demi) 5 times.
6. visited the darkness' web site (was wondering what all the hullabaloo was all about and still don't get it.)
7. discussed with A-- which potato dish to serve with christmas dinner.
8. pondered briefly amy sullivan's article about abortion and the democrats before giving up and decided to be upset later.
9. distributed 3 personal holiday cards.
10. went to the ladies' restroom.

it feels like a much fuller day than this...

Monday, December 20, 2004

barf.

Chicago Tribune | Time Selects Bush As Person of the Year

pot, meet kettle

VOA News - Cuban Authorities Retaliate Against US Christmas Display

heh.

we can dish it out but then, when the democracy-stifling cubans call us on our own precarious moral position, we get our feelings hurt.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

crazy asian girls

i have several recommendations today, so bear with me.

1. do all your christmas shopping online. i was on the phone with my sister, listening to her whisper what she wanted for christmas and i deftly clicked over to jcrew and found exactly what she wanted. then i tapped over to rollingstone.com to read some reviews (i prefer spin's taste, actually) and decided what i was going to send my brother in law. my father is going to be the proud amazon recipient of either a book about female sexuality, gay people or barack obama's memoir. in any case, it should be educational. the little critters will get what i gives 'em. or what i can find in my bedroom and make like it's a funky bohemian thing.

2. do not go see that crazy korean thriller 'a tale of two sisters.' it's like 'the other', 'sisters' and 'the grudge' AND 'the 6th sense.' but on crack. BeanCurd (BC) and i sat scrunched down in our seats, begging the stepmother not to look under the sink. begging. covering our eyes (so he's not the manliest of men.) the film starts out simple enough - someone is crazy. then it spins into this crazy dinner party from hell and a morality tale on regret, the past, bad timing and why it's REALLY important to take your meds.

3. scrabble is a good way to round out an evening: date 3 ended after a two hour scrabble game and an hour watching late night tv. i totally got my ass kicked. however, i laid down 'roque' which was impressive. of course, he laid down 'prize' and won 78 points, but whatever.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

words of wisdom.

this year, as i did last year, i will buy heavy blank cards and will stamp each one with the label of some old french champagne. (champagne screams holiday, don't you think?) and then i will open a bottle of wine and see just how bad my card messages get over the course of one night. then i will pound stamps on the little envelopes, think about the death of the epistolary life, and woozily do something else.

henceforth, he is GeoMetro

there's a 3rd date.

i'm frustrating the hell out of A--, who just stares at me and says, "I don't believe anything you say anymore." she refers to the fact that i can only be honest about the boys i like/don't like after they're gone. in the moment, i seem to disappear and just go with it.

so because i failed to answer these questions satisfactorily last night, i'll answer them now, putting them on the record, if you will.

do i like him? yes. he's smart, funny, reads good books, knows how to play the piano, has a kick ass record collection of music i would actually listen to (except led zeppelin) and wears cute shoes and leather pants, despite having a slight 37-yr old guy paunch. (who's perfect? i can't even touch my toes right now because something got wrenched.) i suspect he may have a brown girl thing going on, but i'm not going to speculate too much. he seems to not be an ass and he used to be a teacher so he communicates well. (is he my ideal guy? no. but there's only one of him and he's taken. not to mention he's gay, living in the hollywood hills with his partner, drinking tea on one of the terraces of his villa. sigh.)

[*Note: GeoMetro is NOT Phantom of the Opera, who had a serious cleft palate situation going on and was less socially adept than GeoMetro. POTO lived in a flame-vulnerable garret filled with candles and sheet music. GeoMetro actually has a design scheme.]

am i attracted to him? it seems so. as attracted as you can get after two dates and playing pool while consuming a whole bunch of whiskey. am i dead inside when he touches me? i don't think so. so yes. i am attracted to him. if you're really asking about a scale of attraction (10 being ... shoot, i can't think of a ten - oh, the guy in new york, S--. yikes, he was an intense 10) then i think GeoMetro falls somewhere between 7-9. an 8. that's not bad, an 8. i think that's a good place to start, right?

i mean, who starts at a 10?? there's nowhere to go but down!

[Update: he is, henceforth, BeanCurd.]

Monday, December 13, 2004

tremble.com: we clap on the downbeat

indeed we do.
anyway, i thought this was funny.

(i spent the whole day procrastinating...bad EA, bad.)

if you want to freak out your nieces and nephews...

then get them this.

i'm trying to find something snarky to say but i think i'm all tapped out.

thanks, bitch ph.d, for the link.

scene from a second date:

(in little geo metro, tooling around the westside of chicago)

boy: BELCH. oh, excuse me.
me: um, s'okay.
boy (waving a hand in front of his face): oh, euwww. gotta crack a window. must've been all that bean curd and bean paste at dim sum. BELCH. oh, jesus. i'm so sorry!
me: A HA HA HA HA HA!

i can't help it. gas makes me laugh.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

ok, i shouldn't have called frank moronic, asshole or a bag of masculinist shit.
that was rude.

he's just ignorant.

they still don't get it

on the national democratic network, there's a conversation going on about the direction of the party. (ndn is apparently a sub-group, like the dlc, of the dnc. try to keep track.)

all sorts of people, including yours truly, are putting in their two cents. one guy (in fact, more than one guy - and it's significant that they're GUYS) are saying that we need to chuck abortion rights and reproductive rights out the window since it's clearly not what the majority of the people want. he doesn't think overturning roe v. wade would be a bad thing, necessarily.

his point? we shouldn't frame abortion and reproductive freedom as 'rights', per se. words like 'rights', 'choice' and 'freedom' make regular people uncomfortable. oh, crap. i'll just cut/paste what he said (it's so much better that way):
Democrats need a change after 30 years, we need to be liberal which means,
ready-to-change-for-the-better. I for one am not ready to sacrifice everything
else Democrats stand for, because some special tnterests want to keep the same
old loser-language of elevating abortion by calling it a euphemism like "choice"
or a "right." Let NARAL do their own PR work.

thanks, frank.

you don't get it. for YOU maybe overturning roe v. wade wouldn't be such a big deal. try being a woman, you asshole. we're not a special interest. we're over half the population.

keeping the autonomy of your body is not a euphamism; retaining authority over what you can do and what you can't isn't about 'loser-language', you bag of masculinist shit. then, later, he says:
We should be listening to the American voters and adjusting our party creed
to what people want, not adjusting voter's attitude what the party creed is.
Abortion is a good example. Roe v. Wade should be overturned so States can
make their own rules. This would actually benefit Democrats.

but is it good for women? the democrat's position on CHOICE is pretty simple: what a woman does with her body is between her doctor and her own moral conscience. that's the choice, you moron. you make the decision, or someone else makes it for you. and the federal law now supports abortion as an option because it didn't exist before at all. (where is he getting his history??)
a bit of ranting: so let's say we let them overturn roe v. wade; what next, frank? think they'll stop there? how about the recent attacks on basic contraception? think they'll stop there? when should women stop other people making decisions for them? get in the mind of a poor woman or a married woman who doesn't want to have kids and you'll get a whiff of desperation from her that won't go away. sex is a choice? yeah, well, not everyone has access to birth control, you moron.


what pisses me off? the fact that women ARE voters isn't even registering with him.

whose fault is that? moronic frank or the scores of young women and women in my age group who don't even make the effort to fucking vote? (the women who remember what it was like before roe v. wade vote.)

Friday, December 10, 2004

tonight, the opera. (thanks, G, for the ticket!)
tomorrow night, the holiday party at K--'s. there, i hope to run into my ex-roommate and ask her why she's walking around the neighborhood in a wig.
sunday afternoon, brunch date. i hope i'm devastatingly hungover and louche. that is, if we're still on.

monday, tutoring (must remember to bring snacks).
tuesday, drinks and dinner with A-- and her friend E.
wednesday, PAYDAY!! oh, sweet baby jesus, pay day! not a rent pay day - i can buy christmas goodies and pay my cleaning lady! oh, happy happy day!

i emailed dewey darko today. just to say hi and ask if he'd been attacked by a moose. his silence acts like a subtle rebuke to my poor handling of our weekend together.

this is what i'm talking about

it's one of the most tacit attacks on women's reproductive health and you BACK OFF??

The state's two U.S. senators, Democrats Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein, also praised the proposed suit. Boxer had threatened a Senate filibuster over the abortion amendment, but backed off when Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist promised a vote next spring on a bill to repeal the amendment -- a longshot in the Republican-controlled Congress.

jeebus, people. my niece has more guts than you do.

Subversive Friday: The Yes Men

love them.

their site makes it increasingly clear how ... incredibly stupid we are. we bend over for corporate greed and kiss the ass of every man in a suit; we blink dumbly in the face of the insanity coming out of the white house and the heritage foundation (their description of the heritage foundation conference is absolutely chilling). we're stoking our own ovens.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

queer. here. get used to it. (pt 2)

remember that crazy gay book ban?

well, now the homophobe who proposed it is invited to talk to george bush about it.
gee. wonder what that conversation will look like? i can almost picture it:

POTUS: gerald, i'm a little concerned about this little book ban you've got going down there in alabama.
GA: oh, don't you worry mr. president. we've got a righteous movement starting.
POTUS: i'm sure you do, scary gerry. mind if i call you that? we're just worried that this might send the wrong message to the country.
GA: we have to protect people, like a stop light. people can't run the light.
POTUS: i know that, scary gerry. but we don't make the people who run the light disappear.
GA: i wish you wouldn't call me scary, mr. president. that hurts my feelings.
POTUS: i regret that, scary gerry. i really do. but you can't make homosexials disappear.
GA: but i want to.
POTUS: but you can't.
GA: but i--
POTUS: scary...
GA: yessir.
POTUS: let me see if i can explain it. homosexuality is a fact. gay people exist. like andrew sullivan - and he's a republican! we may be uncomfortable around gay people but to erase the existence of them, even figuratively, is to impose an agenda of heterosexual coercion on our nation. it is not the role of government to erase those things that make us uncomfortable. and it is not our role as caretakers of government to replace personal morality with public authority. moreover, this sort of police action, that is so clearly homophobic and reactionary, will lead inevitably to even more radical actions. for instance, when you get rid of the word gay and the representation of gays in literature, is the next step an internment camp to insure our children don't even see a homosexual? or perhaps you folks down in alabama would like to take surgical steps, a medical 'final solution,' if you will. i'm sorry, scary gerry, but i cannot allow that. being the student of history that i am, i fear this will only take us down a road of totalitarianism and internal schism.
GA: uh...
POTUS: i thought so, scary gerry. thanks for stopping by.


you think??

give me ignorance or give me...

Teen's mom rekindles debate over novel

WHO still gets upset at Catcher in the Rye??? and WHO has NEVER read Catcher in the Rye?? i read this stupid book when i was 14.

the english lit major in me howls in despair at the utter liberal arts stupidity of most people in our country.

(thanks, bookslut.)
why did this make me giggle at my desk?

could it be i had too much caffeine and shouldn't have bumped up with my vitamin this morning? could it be because my conversation with my firm this morning went really well and i'm actually feeling really good about my prospects? could it be because i look really good today (fishnets, pencil skirt and curvy sweater)?

it could be.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

ok, enough fooling around.

things i must do soonish:

1. find a way to transform my lameass corporate resume into wacky creative fun.
2. actually, dammit, compile a portfolio. like, seriously.
3. land one interview before christmas. or even two.
4. make a list of people i want to talk with or i need to stalk for a job.
5. finish the stupid article. and that other one.
6. contemplate briefly what will happen on sunday brunch with the guy from last saturday night. briefly. (i'm too stressed out to stress out about a boy with cute glases and frodo hair!)
7. make a holiday shopping list. (does baking cookies count as gifts?)
8. budget for holiday shopping. (might have to cut off all my hair and sell it to o. henry)
9. boil down my dream to an elevator talk so i won't sound like a fool when i try to explain why i quit my job.
10. wonder why there is no one (hello oprah!) who will pay me to stay home and do stuff like this all day...

things i will actually do:
6. contemplate briefly what will happen on sunday brunch...
um. you are totally alone.

guh

...why the british will never win culinary awards

green fairy is one of my faves. she's cranky, witty and cruel. she talks about marmite alot. after weeks of wondering what the hell, i finally googled it.

gag. just lick a pub floor after last call, why don't you?

ding does the blue states

i have visited (or, uh, frolicked in) 31% of the united states.

(incidentally, they were all states that voted for kerry! good to know my sex and my politics are so aligned!)

yes. i'm totally bored and not wanting to look for more work. it blows.

blowage

i hate looking for work.
hate it.

hate.
it.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

sisterhood is dead

This is a good collection of all the ways the right is moving against women's reproductive choice.

(as in choosing to reproduce... geez.)

the magnitude of misogynist thinking behind this net of legislation is stunning. poor women, single women, young girls and overburdened married women are eventually going to be funneled into a narrow channel of patriarchal laws that define female sexuality in only one way: married and not her own.

i'm also stunned at the lack of action in the women around me. these are laws that affect all of us and yet we haven't become angry enough to demand that our rights be protected. just think - women have enjoyed reproductive freedom for only 31 years. that's just my lifetime (give or take 5 years.) if all of these laws pass, i could possibly see a MAN take away my right to make decisions about my body and what i do with it. yet, women my age are worried about 'what if he's just not that into me?'

what bullshit.

*thanks to xx blog for posting original link

brooks...late again

The New York Times > Opinion > Op-Ed Columnist: The New Red-Diaper Babies

poor david brooks. doesn't he realize this topic was SO done, like, 5 months ago?

and he can call them 'natalists' all he wants. i like the word breeders. again, parenting is more enriching than, say, not. what a load of crap. again.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Salon.com Life | He loves me, he loves me not

Salon.com Life | He loves me, he loves me not

So here's my two cents: I read it, laughed, read the best parts out loud to my friends and then put it away. But it made me think - not about why HE'S not into me, but why I don't care if he is or not.

For bitchy lazy women like me, who put relationships somewhere behind watching Regency House Party, not calling and not worrying about what's going on in some guy's mind is preferable to acting like a junior high idiot who traces the boy's name into her notebook, over and over again.

I'm sorry, I have 50 other things I'd rather do than waste mental space on whether a guy likes me. (For instance, I'd rather just wonder about the next time I'm having sex.)

There is nothing complex in deconstructing something that doesn't exist. And there is nothing wrong in saying, basically, "You want me? Come get me. Cuz, otherwise, I'm busy."
well, despite the fact i miscalculated horrifically with my finances (thus leaving me with $40 until next week) i had a wonderful weekend and it has a lot to do with my roommate. i suspect that 20 years down the road, we will still be best friends and we will be loud old women drinking spiked tea and making lewd jokes about big burly men. people will *think* we have a boston friendship, but those people would be wrong. we're just so weird and dorky, no one else gets us.

anyway, christmas. i took my bad back and my bad sciatica to evanston with my roommate and we saw 'sideways' (yay for mature, funny, painful and well-written dramas). then we drove to andersonville to get our tree. we saw it immediately - so tall and full it was the platonic ideal in trees. i think we both stamped down any pangs we felt during the tree-buying. when the sky is dark indigo and the air is crisp like a salt cracker, there is nothing more romantic than buying a tree, running your fingers over needles and branches, thrusting your face right in the tree. but we ignored all that. so, lickety split, it was cut, wrapped and strapped to the top of A--'s car. we dragged it upstairs and jammed it on our stand and just gazed at it, like it was a newborn.

whee, our tree!

so we let it rest that night. quite frankly, my back and lower regions were so mysteriously wrenched that i couldn't have handled a bulb if my life depended on it. still, i managed enough strenghth to go on a date that ended surprisingly well. i will blame the 5-minute necking in his front seat on all that tree business.

so now the tree is decorated - it is all golden, peachy and coppery beauty. it's so tasteful and pretty it hardly bears any resemblance to us at all. we have lights, boughs, wreaths, tinsel, lights, ribbons and have i mentioned the lights? (A-- thinks they're sparkly.)

but it's official. christmas is here and we are absolutely drowning in holiday cheer.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

really?!?

SomeAbstinence Programs Mislead Teens, Report Says

i think this is my favorite part:

One book in the "Choosing Best" series tells the story of a knight who married a village maiden instead of the princess because the princess offered so many tips on slaying the local dragon. "Moral of the story," notes the popular text: "Occasional suggestions and assistance may be alright, but too much of it will lessen a man's confidence or even turn him away from his princess."

if i ever find my niece reading this kind of crap i will set it on fire.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

we suck

The Revealer: No Country, No Medicine, No Chance

a critically acclaimed writer's uncle dies in custody of Homeland Security and no one is responsible.

i feel like i'm taking a tally of all the ways we suck as a country, as a government, as a people. the hatch marks are too many.

here, queer, get used to it

Gay book ban goal of state lawmaker

i shouldn't be surprised at yet another example of sexual panic in the red state south, but there is something about the thoroughness of his ban that makes me rear back in alarm. it's not that his homophobia compels him to ban gay marriage (which is to be expected from a semi-rural ignoramus) but that he wants to erase homosexuality entirely. he wants it not to exist. he wants it to be nonrepresentable. he wants there to be a huge hole where he can dump homosexuality and bury it.

let's be clear. he's not merely saying that homosexuality gives him the skeeves; he's saying gay people skeeve him out so much he's willing to make sure all representations of them disappear. that's what these people want. that's their desire boiled down to its essence. it's not enough that they don't want gay people to marry. they don't want gay people to exist.

the article gets the whole thing wrong. we shouldn't be focusing on censorship or book burning. yes, yes, yes, that's awful but it's not the point. the real issue seethes below his crazy book ban. will erasing the word homosexual, the image of homosexuals, the fact of gay people be enough? will that satisfy their monster? i think not. their virulent hatred won't end until real gay people are gone. erased.

what does this sound like to you?